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ericadawn16Title: Friends to the End: The One with the Embryos
Author: Ericadawn16
Prompt: The wonderful mash-up of Friends and Avengers
Character/Pairing(s): Clint/Jessica Drew, Jessica Drew/Vange Whedon, Tony/Pepper, Phil/Clint, Clint/Natasha, Clint/?, Natasha/?
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Slash, lots of slash, mild language
Spoilers: a few references here and there, nothing big
Summary: We find out what Loki did, Pepper gets some big news, Clint is his usual self and Phil accidentally lets something slip out.
Beta: BIG Thanks to lavendergaia and Valoscope
The One with the Embryos
August 15, 2016
"Miss Potts, I really must insist on you seeing a doctor," said Jarvis. Pepper rolled her eyes, knowing the artificial entity would recognize it.
"I'm fine," she told him.
"Miss Potts, you don't seem fine at all between the fatigue and vomiting. You also appear to have gained several pounds," Jarvis argued.
"Jarvis! You are worse than Tony!" Pepper yelled at him.
"Did I hear my name?" Tony asked, walking in.
"Tell Jarvis to leave me alone."
"Sure, we can talk about that but I think he does have a point. When's your next doctor's appointment?" Tony asked.
"Next week is when we confirm everything," Pepper told him. There didn't need to be much confirming on her end.
Jarvis was right that she had all the signs already and it had only been two weeks! Pepper thought she should have had more time than that.
Then, Bruce walked in.
"Jarvis told me to come here, said I was needed?" Bruce asked, confused.
"No," said Pepper at the same time that Tony said, "Yes."
Tony gave her a look.
"Humor me. As your boss, I can't have you over-estimating your current abilities," Tony spoke. This ignored all the times that Tony ignored Pepper's questions when he was sick.
"Fine," she stated. "But I'm not doing anything invasive. You'll just have to make do."
"I'm sure we've given Bruce beyond state of the art equipment for that," Tony told her.
"Uh...this isn't my area of expertise. I haven't even delivered a baby since they pulled me out of India," Bruce pointed out. Tony waved him off.
"I'm sure it'll be fine, just like falling off a bike," he said. Pepper rolled her eyes once again.
"And I don't want you there...hovering," she said. There was a brief test of wills as Tony's brown eyes narrowed.
"Fine, I still expect to hear details from one of you afterwards," he agreed and she nodded.
"Shall we?" Bruce asked, offering his arm and trying to act like it was a simple dinner date or something. As soon as the elevator doors closed, she found herself worrying. She was definitely pregnant, wasn't she? Would there be some other reason why she was having all these symptoms and so early? Was something wrong?
They rode in silence down to the medical floor. It was deserted at the moment; unneeded. She walked to the room with the sonogram equipment and Bruce followed.
"You'll have to-" he cut off and motioned to his abdomen. She stripped down to her undergarments and lay back in the chair. The sonogram machine had been updated. She didn't recognize it.
"This acts more like a scanner but it should be safe for the baby," Bruce explained. Pepper resisted a laugh. One problem with having the latest technology was that it was usually untested.
He waved it over her and an image began to appear on the 3D projector beside him and above her. Bruce waved away different internal organs until all they saw were her reproductive parts. It was a little weird seeing herself so detailed.
"What are those three dots?" Pepper asked at the red objects that almost looked like circles.
"Uh...didn't you say that Hank only implanted one embryo?" Bruce clarified. Pepper didn't like his expression.
"Yeah, he said it would be better that way," Pepper confirmed.
"Well, now there's three which can happen. It would have still been possible for the cells to divide like that. It could just be coincidence or it could be-"
"Loki," Pepper confirmed.
"Yeah, I wouldn't recommend making friends with that guy. You never know what might happen," Bruce spoke. "If he wanted mischief, two seems bad enough but three?"
Three was the only thing in this mess that now made sense to her.
"His kids," she began to explain.
"He has kids?" Bruce asked in utter disbelief.
"The mythological Loki has countless children by all species. The Loki we know only had three and he had to give them all up at birth. He's still upset about it," Pepper continued.
"Obviously...wow," he said. "This isn't going to be easy."
"Ya think," Pepper growled at him. "Sorry."
"No, it's totally understandable. We don't have to tell Tony about this yet. I will tell him that I think you need an assistant as soon as possible," Bruce told her.
Three babies, it still seemed unreal but would she have enough to keep the assistant? Tony was so particular about whom he would allow around him and he'd never want anyone else to know that it was part of how he coped with things. She would have to find a new position for them afterwards or maybe she could find an intern for the rest of the school year.
"I also don't want to tell him just yet because with normal pregnancies, many don't survive the first trimester. We don't know if Loki's tampering extends to that or not," Bruce explained.
Her hand went to her belly. She was going to do all she could to protect them but this was going to be really difficult. There was only one other person to trust.
As she rode up the elevator to her floor, Pepper made plans to visit Jess.
*************************************************************************
"Director Fury," Phil greeted as Nick came in and shut the door behind him.
"Parker is about to start university," Fury stated and Phil nodded. "I know you had planned on your Parker duties being lessened but I want you there."
"How?" Phil asked. "They don't typically have principals."
"No, but they do require adjuncts," he answered.
Surely, he wasn't serious.
"All they require is a college degree which you have and a couple of classes a week. You'll have an office on campus which will be more convenient if he's having a problem and I'll arrange your schedule to make it work," Nick continued.
This was a very bad idea.
"I've never taught. My degree was thirty years ago and I'm not going to know anyone there. It's not a good cover," Phil pointed out.
"Jazmin still teaches there. She could help," Nick suggested.
"Jazmin still thinks Jasper just works for the FBI and we've tried very hard to keep it that way," Phil argued.
"You can explain to her how you're trying something different," Nick said and opened the door. "Make it work."
************************************************************************
"Any tips on dealing with Jessica? Jones, I mean," Danny asked.
Clint felt weird. However, he had to admit that not only was he twice the other man's age but the only Avenger who was a father. He also remembered what it was like traveling with the carnival.
"Don't piss her off. At any cost, do not piss her off. It's like PMS but all the time. Get her a gift just because, she'll like that, like a spa day or something," Clint suggested.
"Spa? I'm not sure she's that kind of girl," Danny protested.
"When they're pregnant, they all become that kind of girl but have Cage give it to her. It'll make him look good. Just be extra nice to her and don't mention anything about her weight," Clint continued. "And be careful about mentioning her appearance at all; sometimes that can backfire."
"Thanks, man," Danny said with an enthusiastic nod and rushed out of the room.
"What a catch. How is it that you're not married?" Wanda asked from her chair.
"Thanks," he said before realizing she was being sarcastic. He gave her a glare with his blue eyes. "I know women when it counts, or was that faking?"
He watched her look thoughtful for a minute and reply, "No, it wasn't. How about I make us some drinks? My sister canceled on me."
"Or I know a place, they even have onion rings," Clint suggested.
"You're not coming anywhere near me with onion breath but sure," she agreed and stood up.
****************************************************************************
Darcy decided to knock once and then walk in. You found more interesting stuff that way, like Agent Pollock tied up in nothing but women's underwear. She gave Claire a whole bag of chocolate for that one.
Sadly, Coulson was just reading files. However, she could tell he was troubled by something.
"What's wrong?" Darcy asked.
"I will be thrust into the world of academia. Fury insists on me being an adjunct professor at Parker's university," he explained.
"That sucks," she said as she sunk down into a chair. "What would you even teach? How to sneak up on people and talk in a monotone no matter what's happening?"
"I'm not sure, other than you, who would actually be interested in that class. No, I'll be teaching what my degree is actually in," Coulson said.
Darcy's green eyes widened and she exclaimed, "You mean there actually is a school that offers underwater basket weaving? Because I looked everywhere."
"No, I went for the most boring subject I could think of...accounting," he said. She couldn't help but laughing.
"I know. It does help with forms and taxes but..." he trailed off and shrugged.
"I could get you a coke or a beer or-"
****************************************************************************
"Or dinner, this totally works, too," Darcy spoke as they slid into a booth in the very old tavern. It was plain that Darcy was caught up on her work and bored. This never amounted to anything good so the faster that Phil could get her off the Helicarrier, the better.
"The owner is a bit of a fanboy so he likes having us around and makes sure we have our privacy," he explained.
"Nice," she said, looking around at the mix of trendy and antique.
"How's Jones coming along?" Phil asked. There needed to be a clear plan for her before the press realized Pepper Potts was pregnant. None of them would be satisfied the kid wasn't the Stark heir until it was born and maybe not even then.
"She wanted to just post the baby's first photo on Facebook. I'm trying to talk her into doing an exclusive. She'd make more money that way and babies are expensive. Now Avengers are paid well-"
"But she's not an Avenger," he reminded her.
"Exactly," she said with a slight triumph. Cage was providing for the baby as well but he saw her point. Jones was being a lot mature and might be ready once maternity leave was over.
"I'll look into it. What else?" Phil asked. She adjusted her glasses and pushed her brown hair back.
"MTV won't stop bugging me. To the public eye, all the Avengers appear single so they want a dating show out of it," she told him. He grimaced.
"None of them are going to go for that," he commented.
"I know! Tony is too true to Pepper and Thor..."
Darcy paused as if she wasn't supposed to say what she going to say next. He was a little amazed at it happening.
"I love Thor. I love Darcy but I'm a little tired of this on-again, off-again...I liked Maria, too but..."
"She's never really dealt with what happened to her in Asgard and London, has she?" Phil asked. She shook her head. The follow-up question was left unsaid: Had Darcy ever dealt with that?
Phil had a feeling she hadn't but she had changed. He wouldn't have imagined the graduate student complaining about her iPod would now be making high marks in all of her SHIELD training classes. A waitress came over and discussed the few specialties that The Old Haunt offered since Darcy was new. Then, she left with their orders.
"Maybe we could sell them on a Day in the Life of...instead. In 2003, Bravo made a series called The It Factor where each episode followed an up and coming actor trying to make it. We could do an episode featuring each, or each that we can convince into doing it," Phil amended.
"You're being a human IMDB of reality TV is kind of scary sometimes, but I have an idea," Darcy announced. "Even though she's an Avenger, nobody really knows Bobbi that well yet. We change her hair and pass her off as a new person, then have her date Steve for the show."
"But the truth will come out eventually..."
"That's the beauty part. It'll cause a huge scandal. MTV will be mad at us. They'll cancel the series and black-list us for a bit," she explained.
"Excellent," he complimented and she smiled even more.
"Why is she called Mockingbird?" Darcy asked.
"I think she came up with that one herself," he told her. The waitress had come back with drinks. Phil took his Sam Adams while Darcy had a Mojito.
"Because Hawkeye and Black Widow, now those are cool names. Mockingbird is kind of..."
"It is easier when the press comes up with them and they always do that for villains," Phil spoke before thanking the waitress. He realized his mistake a second later when Darcy appeared confused as the other woman left.
"But only Black Widow was a bad guy," she said.
They now redacted that portion of Clint's file for everyone below Level Eight clearance. He'd forgotten.
"No, Barton was, too," Phil admitted. It would be better in the long run, less complaining from her about not being told everything.
"So, if Barton took in Romanov, who took in Barton?" Darcy asked.
"I did."
"But you were trained for SHIELD at the same time, everyone knows that," she pointed out.
"I wasn't part of SHIELD yet," he confirmed, knowing it didn't really clear anything up. At the time, he had made a different call; one that his superiors didn't appreciate and that fate would repay later with Barton and Romanov.
"Ooh, speaking of Barton, we might have two more Avengers not so unattached," she said, looking at something behind them. Phil turned around to see Clint and Wanda in a booth. They were talking and laughing.
A/N: I know, I needed a New York bar for them and I couldn't resist...
Author: Ericadawn16
Prompt: The wonderful mash-up of Friends and Avengers
Character/Pairing(s): Clint/Jessica Drew, Jessica Drew/Vange Whedon, Tony/Pepper, Phil/Clint, Clint/Natasha, Clint/?, Natasha/?
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Slash, lots of slash, mild language
Spoilers: a few references here and there, nothing big
Summary: We find out what Loki did, Pepper gets some big news, Clint is his usual self and Phil accidentally lets something slip out.
Beta: BIG Thanks to lavendergaia and Valoscope
The One with the Embryos
August 15, 2016
"Miss Potts, I really must insist on you seeing a doctor," said Jarvis. Pepper rolled her eyes, knowing the artificial entity would recognize it.
"I'm fine," she told him.
"Miss Potts, you don't seem fine at all between the fatigue and vomiting. You also appear to have gained several pounds," Jarvis argued.
"Jarvis! You are worse than Tony!" Pepper yelled at him.
"Did I hear my name?" Tony asked, walking in.
"Tell Jarvis to leave me alone."
"Sure, we can talk about that but I think he does have a point. When's your next doctor's appointment?" Tony asked.
"Next week is when we confirm everything," Pepper told him. There didn't need to be much confirming on her end.
Jarvis was right that she had all the signs already and it had only been two weeks! Pepper thought she should have had more time than that.
Then, Bruce walked in.
"Jarvis told me to come here, said I was needed?" Bruce asked, confused.
"No," said Pepper at the same time that Tony said, "Yes."
Tony gave her a look.
"Humor me. As your boss, I can't have you over-estimating your current abilities," Tony spoke. This ignored all the times that Tony ignored Pepper's questions when he was sick.
"Fine," she stated. "But I'm not doing anything invasive. You'll just have to make do."
"I'm sure we've given Bruce beyond state of the art equipment for that," Tony told her.
"Uh...this isn't my area of expertise. I haven't even delivered a baby since they pulled me out of India," Bruce pointed out. Tony waved him off.
"I'm sure it'll be fine, just like falling off a bike," he said. Pepper rolled her eyes once again.
"And I don't want you there...hovering," she said. There was a brief test of wills as Tony's brown eyes narrowed.
"Fine, I still expect to hear details from one of you afterwards," he agreed and she nodded.
"Shall we?" Bruce asked, offering his arm and trying to act like it was a simple dinner date or something. As soon as the elevator doors closed, she found herself worrying. She was definitely pregnant, wasn't she? Would there be some other reason why she was having all these symptoms and so early? Was something wrong?
They rode in silence down to the medical floor. It was deserted at the moment; unneeded. She walked to the room with the sonogram equipment and Bruce followed.
"You'll have to-" he cut off and motioned to his abdomen. She stripped down to her undergarments and lay back in the chair. The sonogram machine had been updated. She didn't recognize it.
"This acts more like a scanner but it should be safe for the baby," Bruce explained. Pepper resisted a laugh. One problem with having the latest technology was that it was usually untested.
He waved it over her and an image began to appear on the 3D projector beside him and above her. Bruce waved away different internal organs until all they saw were her reproductive parts. It was a little weird seeing herself so detailed.
"What are those three dots?" Pepper asked at the red objects that almost looked like circles.
"Uh...didn't you say that Hank only implanted one embryo?" Bruce clarified. Pepper didn't like his expression.
"Yeah, he said it would be better that way," Pepper confirmed.
"Well, now there's three which can happen. It would have still been possible for the cells to divide like that. It could just be coincidence or it could be-"
"Loki," Pepper confirmed.
"Yeah, I wouldn't recommend making friends with that guy. You never know what might happen," Bruce spoke. "If he wanted mischief, two seems bad enough but three?"
Three was the only thing in this mess that now made sense to her.
"His kids," she began to explain.
"He has kids?" Bruce asked in utter disbelief.
"The mythological Loki has countless children by all species. The Loki we know only had three and he had to give them all up at birth. He's still upset about it," Pepper continued.
"Obviously...wow," he said. "This isn't going to be easy."
"Ya think," Pepper growled at him. "Sorry."
"No, it's totally understandable. We don't have to tell Tony about this yet. I will tell him that I think you need an assistant as soon as possible," Bruce told her.
Three babies, it still seemed unreal but would she have enough to keep the assistant? Tony was so particular about whom he would allow around him and he'd never want anyone else to know that it was part of how he coped with things. She would have to find a new position for them afterwards or maybe she could find an intern for the rest of the school year.
"I also don't want to tell him just yet because with normal pregnancies, many don't survive the first trimester. We don't know if Loki's tampering extends to that or not," Bruce explained.
Her hand went to her belly. She was going to do all she could to protect them but this was going to be really difficult. There was only one other person to trust.
As she rode up the elevator to her floor, Pepper made plans to visit Jess.
*************************************************************************
"Director Fury," Phil greeted as Nick came in and shut the door behind him.
"Parker is about to start university," Fury stated and Phil nodded. "I know you had planned on your Parker duties being lessened but I want you there."
"How?" Phil asked. "They don't typically have principals."
"No, but they do require adjuncts," he answered.
Surely, he wasn't serious.
"All they require is a college degree which you have and a couple of classes a week. You'll have an office on campus which will be more convenient if he's having a problem and I'll arrange your schedule to make it work," Nick continued.
This was a very bad idea.
"I've never taught. My degree was thirty years ago and I'm not going to know anyone there. It's not a good cover," Phil pointed out.
"Jazmin still teaches there. She could help," Nick suggested.
"Jazmin still thinks Jasper just works for the FBI and we've tried very hard to keep it that way," Phil argued.
"You can explain to her how you're trying something different," Nick said and opened the door. "Make it work."
************************************************************************
"Any tips on dealing with Jessica? Jones, I mean," Danny asked.
Clint felt weird. However, he had to admit that not only was he twice the other man's age but the only Avenger who was a father. He also remembered what it was like traveling with the carnival.
"Don't piss her off. At any cost, do not piss her off. It's like PMS but all the time. Get her a gift just because, she'll like that, like a spa day or something," Clint suggested.
"Spa? I'm not sure she's that kind of girl," Danny protested.
"When they're pregnant, they all become that kind of girl but have Cage give it to her. It'll make him look good. Just be extra nice to her and don't mention anything about her weight," Clint continued. "And be careful about mentioning her appearance at all; sometimes that can backfire."
"Thanks, man," Danny said with an enthusiastic nod and rushed out of the room.
"What a catch. How is it that you're not married?" Wanda asked from her chair.
"Thanks," he said before realizing she was being sarcastic. He gave her a glare with his blue eyes. "I know women when it counts, or was that faking?"
He watched her look thoughtful for a minute and reply, "No, it wasn't. How about I make us some drinks? My sister canceled on me."
"Or I know a place, they even have onion rings," Clint suggested.
"You're not coming anywhere near me with onion breath but sure," she agreed and stood up.
****************************************************************************
Darcy decided to knock once and then walk in. You found more interesting stuff that way, like Agent Pollock tied up in nothing but women's underwear. She gave Claire a whole bag of chocolate for that one.
Sadly, Coulson was just reading files. However, she could tell he was troubled by something.
"What's wrong?" Darcy asked.
"I will be thrust into the world of academia. Fury insists on me being an adjunct professor at Parker's university," he explained.
"That sucks," she said as she sunk down into a chair. "What would you even teach? How to sneak up on people and talk in a monotone no matter what's happening?"
"I'm not sure, other than you, who would actually be interested in that class. No, I'll be teaching what my degree is actually in," Coulson said.
Darcy's green eyes widened and she exclaimed, "You mean there actually is a school that offers underwater basket weaving? Because I looked everywhere."
"No, I went for the most boring subject I could think of...accounting," he said. She couldn't help but laughing.
"I know. It does help with forms and taxes but..." he trailed off and shrugged.
"I could get you a coke or a beer or-"
****************************************************************************
"Or dinner, this totally works, too," Darcy spoke as they slid into a booth in the very old tavern. It was plain that Darcy was caught up on her work and bored. This never amounted to anything good so the faster that Phil could get her off the Helicarrier, the better.
"The owner is a bit of a fanboy so he likes having us around and makes sure we have our privacy," he explained.
"Nice," she said, looking around at the mix of trendy and antique.
"How's Jones coming along?" Phil asked. There needed to be a clear plan for her before the press realized Pepper Potts was pregnant. None of them would be satisfied the kid wasn't the Stark heir until it was born and maybe not even then.
"She wanted to just post the baby's first photo on Facebook. I'm trying to talk her into doing an exclusive. She'd make more money that way and babies are expensive. Now Avengers are paid well-"
"But she's not an Avenger," he reminded her.
"Exactly," she said with a slight triumph. Cage was providing for the baby as well but he saw her point. Jones was being a lot mature and might be ready once maternity leave was over.
"I'll look into it. What else?" Phil asked. She adjusted her glasses and pushed her brown hair back.
"MTV won't stop bugging me. To the public eye, all the Avengers appear single so they want a dating show out of it," she told him. He grimaced.
"None of them are going to go for that," he commented.
"I know! Tony is too true to Pepper and Thor..."
Darcy paused as if she wasn't supposed to say what she going to say next. He was a little amazed at it happening.
"I love Thor. I love Darcy but I'm a little tired of this on-again, off-again...I liked Maria, too but..."
"She's never really dealt with what happened to her in Asgard and London, has she?" Phil asked. She shook her head. The follow-up question was left unsaid: Had Darcy ever dealt with that?
Phil had a feeling she hadn't but she had changed. He wouldn't have imagined the graduate student complaining about her iPod would now be making high marks in all of her SHIELD training classes. A waitress came over and discussed the few specialties that The Old Haunt offered since Darcy was new. Then, she left with their orders.
"Maybe we could sell them on a Day in the Life of...instead. In 2003, Bravo made a series called The It Factor where each episode followed an up and coming actor trying to make it. We could do an episode featuring each, or each that we can convince into doing it," Phil amended.
"You're being a human IMDB of reality TV is kind of scary sometimes, but I have an idea," Darcy announced. "Even though she's an Avenger, nobody really knows Bobbi that well yet. We change her hair and pass her off as a new person, then have her date Steve for the show."
"But the truth will come out eventually..."
"That's the beauty part. It'll cause a huge scandal. MTV will be mad at us. They'll cancel the series and black-list us for a bit," she explained.
"Excellent," he complimented and she smiled even more.
"Why is she called Mockingbird?" Darcy asked.
"I think she came up with that one herself," he told her. The waitress had come back with drinks. Phil took his Sam Adams while Darcy had a Mojito.
"Because Hawkeye and Black Widow, now those are cool names. Mockingbird is kind of..."
"It is easier when the press comes up with them and they always do that for villains," Phil spoke before thanking the waitress. He realized his mistake a second later when Darcy appeared confused as the other woman left.
"But only Black Widow was a bad guy," she said.
They now redacted that portion of Clint's file for everyone below Level Eight clearance. He'd forgotten.
"No, Barton was, too," Phil admitted. It would be better in the long run, less complaining from her about not being told everything.
"So, if Barton took in Romanov, who took in Barton?" Darcy asked.
"I did."
"But you were trained for SHIELD at the same time, everyone knows that," she pointed out.
"I wasn't part of SHIELD yet," he confirmed, knowing it didn't really clear anything up. At the time, he had made a different call; one that his superiors didn't appreciate and that fate would repay later with Barton and Romanov.
"Ooh, speaking of Barton, we might have two more Avengers not so unattached," she said, looking at something behind them. Phil turned around to see Clint and Wanda in a booth. They were talking and laughing.
A/N: I know, I needed a New York bar for them and I couldn't resist...
