The Wolverine Review
Jul. 28th, 2013 02:21 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ericadawn16Okay, as I said before, there are only two reasons to see The Wolverine
1. This badass, Yukio
And this scene during the end credits:
Now, I'm also going to go into everything else... EVERYTHING
I'm beginning to think all Wolverine solo movies are cursed for me. During the first one, the picture disappeared for several scenes so we only had audio. This was kind of okay since it included the scene where his lover is killed...once again because basically everyone Logan loves dies.
This time, it was the "pre-show" that was dark with just the audio. I still don't understand when this happens and they never do anything, they just tell you how the trailers and movie will work fine. You think I like sitting in the dark for twenty minutes for no reason?
It got so bad that I was introduced to a whole new annoyance...people in the movie theatre watching stuff on their phone, just loudly enough so you know what's going on but not loud enough to be able to identify what it is.
There was only ONE TRAILER! I like my trailers and I was hoping for Thor: The Dark World again because...reasons. Anyway, the one trailer was You're Next...not my kind of movie, not at all, I just wanted the trailer to go away someplace where I never had to see it again.
So admittedly, I wasn't in the best mood for the actual film but...I had hope.
I remember when I was younger and the first two X-Men films came out, I shipped everyone with everyone, including Logan and Jean. By the second or third flashback, I didn't ship them anymore. I just wanted her to go away.
When Peter Parker gets Gwen Stacey killed and the next film doesn't spend nearly this much time on it...I will have renewed rage at how they did Logan and Jean.
I liked showing Wolverine at Nagasaki although I was expecting them to show how his superiors who had killed themselves were just ashes. I can't decide whether it was refreshingly different or a copout that they were minimalistic with the fallout. Then, it's complicated once you know the ending because he saves the guy which turns him further into a villain so his only redeeming quality would be having a son who had Mariko but if you know your comics, she dies so...it all seems kind of pointless now.
However, I started to really like the movie once they had Logan track down the bastards who can't even hunt properly and caused that bear's death for nothing. Then, Yukio showed up! I knew Mariko and her stuff from the comics but I didn't know Yukio so much.
Viper is awesome. I'd never paid much attention to her before because she tends to be henchwoman to Red Skull or whoever but she got to be the main villain for most of the film which was lovely.
Ooh, Harada shows up! I'm excited since the Silver Samurai can go either way and he's an archer here which causes me to have ideas of him teaming up with Clint Barton...
Except instead of being Mariko's half-brother, he's her former lover...what? No.
In the comics, Logan and Mariko had this epic love story which they try to condense here to twenty minutes and...no. I didn't buy it. To make things worse, they stole the dressing scene from The Last Samurai and turned it into foreplay. I was conflicted anyway. Are we supposed to root for them on the assumption that the movie's changed everything else anyway or root against them because she's going to die and make Logan all heartbroken all over again? No, I don't believe that his experience with Jean Grey makes him able to cope with all future heartbreak. I watch Doctor Who and Torchwood. I know better than that.
Speaking of, within the first thirty minutes I was struck by the thought of how awesome a Torchwood movie would be; a nice proper story done in 120-135 minutes without all the character deaths and massive political commentary.
I was also disappointed during the romance between Logan and Mariko that it meant a lack of Yukio. I wanted her doing stuff, spying on Shingen or something, dammit! Then, when she is given something to do it's to have a dream of Logan dying. Bah. At least it means more team-up between Yukio and Logan because I approve of anything that means more of Yukio kicking ass.
Logan does his own heart surgery...EWW!!!! I remember when my mom used to complain about Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World when Maturin had to perform surgery on himself...this was WAY worse. From here on out, it almost seemed like a personal vendetta against me...how can we annoy Erica more?
Logan goes off to rescue Mariko...once again captured...ALONE! Dammit, you take Yukio with you! She does show up later on her own, yay.
Silver Samurai
I had been looking forward to Silver Samurai. I mean have you seen him in the comics or television? He's awesome.
And they ruined him. RUINED!!!!!!
I felt so much more upset than with the Mandarin twist...perhaps because I had warning about the Mandarin, I could get used to it and I'm probably incapable of getting mad at Ben Kingsley.
First, we're led to believe that the Silver Samurai is a giant robot...I don't like robots. They squick me unless they're cute like R2D2 or something.
Then, surprise...it's actually Yashida, the old guy he saved back during World War II who made himself the robot so that he could live longer in order to steal Logan's immortality.
Nope.
Nope.
Nope.
You have now become a subpar Doctor Who episode, I hope you're proud of yourself.
Then, there was Viper ripping her face off and Logan having his claws cut off and his bones drilled into and...I couldn't decide between trying not to vomit or closing my eyes. Either way, I just wanted the movie to end at that point. I realized that as much as I complained about Iron Man 3, I liked it a whole lot more than this.
Two years later...
I admit it, my first thought was disappointment that Yukio wasn't with him but the rest of that scene was perfect.
If you want to know more specifically about the women of the film, this is an awesome article:
http://splashpage.mtv.com/2013/07/26/the-wolverine-women/
SQUEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm watching Gilmore Girls on the Soap Opera channel and they had an ad for Agents of SHIELD!!!!! With new footage! Where Coulson is talking like almost all the time!
Ah, bliss.
It kind of makes up for Wolverine and my satellite going out during the last five dramatic minutes of today's new, Ultimate Spider-Man episode where they were rescuing Luke Cage's parents! Somehow, they found a way to make Cage's origin even more sad than the comics but his parents have turned out to be alive which brings up all sorts of possibilities and...I may need to rework some of my story now.
1. This badass, Yukio
And this scene during the end credits:
Now, I'm also going to go into everything else... EVERYTHING
I'm beginning to think all Wolverine solo movies are cursed for me. During the first one, the picture disappeared for several scenes so we only had audio. This was kind of okay since it included the scene where his lover is killed...once again because basically everyone Logan loves dies.
This time, it was the "pre-show" that was dark with just the audio. I still don't understand when this happens and they never do anything, they just tell you how the trailers and movie will work fine. You think I like sitting in the dark for twenty minutes for no reason?
It got so bad that I was introduced to a whole new annoyance...people in the movie theatre watching stuff on their phone, just loudly enough so you know what's going on but not loud enough to be able to identify what it is.
There was only ONE TRAILER! I like my trailers and I was hoping for Thor: The Dark World again because...reasons. Anyway, the one trailer was You're Next...not my kind of movie, not at all, I just wanted the trailer to go away someplace where I never had to see it again.
So admittedly, I wasn't in the best mood for the actual film but...I had hope.
I remember when I was younger and the first two X-Men films came out, I shipped everyone with everyone, including Logan and Jean. By the second or third flashback, I didn't ship them anymore. I just wanted her to go away.
When Peter Parker gets Gwen Stacey killed and the next film doesn't spend nearly this much time on it...I will have renewed rage at how they did Logan and Jean.
I liked showing Wolverine at Nagasaki although I was expecting them to show how his superiors who had killed themselves were just ashes. I can't decide whether it was refreshingly different or a copout that they were minimalistic with the fallout. Then, it's complicated once you know the ending because he saves the guy which turns him further into a villain so his only redeeming quality would be having a son who had Mariko but if you know your comics, she dies so...it all seems kind of pointless now.
However, I started to really like the movie once they had Logan track down the bastards who can't even hunt properly and caused that bear's death for nothing. Then, Yukio showed up! I knew Mariko and her stuff from the comics but I didn't know Yukio so much.
Viper is awesome. I'd never paid much attention to her before because she tends to be henchwoman to Red Skull or whoever but she got to be the main villain for most of the film which was lovely.
Ooh, Harada shows up! I'm excited since the Silver Samurai can go either way and he's an archer here which causes me to have ideas of him teaming up with Clint Barton...
Except instead of being Mariko's half-brother, he's her former lover...what? No.
In the comics, Logan and Mariko had this epic love story which they try to condense here to twenty minutes and...no. I didn't buy it. To make things worse, they stole the dressing scene from The Last Samurai and turned it into foreplay. I was conflicted anyway. Are we supposed to root for them on the assumption that the movie's changed everything else anyway or root against them because she's going to die and make Logan all heartbroken all over again? No, I don't believe that his experience with Jean Grey makes him able to cope with all future heartbreak. I watch Doctor Who and Torchwood. I know better than that.
Speaking of, within the first thirty minutes I was struck by the thought of how awesome a Torchwood movie would be; a nice proper story done in 120-135 minutes without all the character deaths and massive political commentary.
I was also disappointed during the romance between Logan and Mariko that it meant a lack of Yukio. I wanted her doing stuff, spying on Shingen or something, dammit! Then, when she is given something to do it's to have a dream of Logan dying. Bah. At least it means more team-up between Yukio and Logan because I approve of anything that means more of Yukio kicking ass.
Logan does his own heart surgery...EWW!!!! I remember when my mom used to complain about Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World when Maturin had to perform surgery on himself...this was WAY worse. From here on out, it almost seemed like a personal vendetta against me...how can we annoy Erica more?
Logan goes off to rescue Mariko...once again captured...ALONE! Dammit, you take Yukio with you! She does show up later on her own, yay.
Silver Samurai
I had been looking forward to Silver Samurai. I mean have you seen him in the comics or television? He's awesome.
And they ruined him. RUINED!!!!!!
I felt so much more upset than with the Mandarin twist...perhaps because I had warning about the Mandarin, I could get used to it and I'm probably incapable of getting mad at Ben Kingsley.
First, we're led to believe that the Silver Samurai is a giant robot...I don't like robots. They squick me unless they're cute like R2D2 or something.
Then, surprise...it's actually Yashida, the old guy he saved back during World War II who made himself the robot so that he could live longer in order to steal Logan's immortality.
Nope.
Nope.
Nope.
You have now become a subpar Doctor Who episode, I hope you're proud of yourself.
Then, there was Viper ripping her face off and Logan having his claws cut off and his bones drilled into and...I couldn't decide between trying not to vomit or closing my eyes. Either way, I just wanted the movie to end at that point. I realized that as much as I complained about Iron Man 3, I liked it a whole lot more than this.
Two years later...
I admit it, my first thought was disappointment that Yukio wasn't with him but the rest of that scene was perfect.
If you want to know more specifically about the women of the film, this is an awesome article:
http://splashpage.mtv.com/2013/07/26/the-wolverine-women/
SQUEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm watching Gilmore Girls on the Soap Opera channel and they had an ad for Agents of SHIELD!!!!! With new footage! Where Coulson is talking like almost all the time!
Ah, bliss.
It kind of makes up for Wolverine and my satellite going out during the last five dramatic minutes of today's new, Ultimate Spider-Man episode where they were rescuing Luke Cage's parents! Somehow, they found a way to make Cage's origin even more sad than the comics but his parents have turned out to be alive which brings up all sorts of possibilities and...I may need to rework some of my story now.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2013-07-28 06:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-07-28 06:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-07-28 09:07 pm (UTC)Love her *^^*
no subject
Date: 2013-07-29 04:10 am (UTC)I thought the romance in the movie was extremely contrived as well. Even if in the comics they have a relationship, it was pointless to bring it in here, because it didn't fit at all and then it made the ending really bizarre. Like, "Goodbye, my love... I'm taking your adopted sister off to I just said that I don't even know where, but we have to part..."
Basically the only purpose the movie had was the after credits scene.
no subject
Date: 2013-07-29 05:02 am (UTC)Also, that is the best stinger ever. Professor X and Magneto make everything better. Especially Magneto.