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ericadawn16Title: But Time Didn’t Stop
Characters: Jack, Rhi Jack/Ianto
Rated: PG-13 ANGST COE Spoilers MPREG
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Summary: Jack wants a normal life.
Author's Note: Starts after COE.
Previous Segment: September 2, 2010 or February 27, 2017
Masterlist: http://ericadawn16.livejournal.com/63337.html
September 2, 2010 or February 27, 2017, Part Two
“But Gwen still works there. New people are recruited. It goes on. ‘Because they believe in what Torchwood does, what it stands for. They believe that mankind needs protection from whatever comes from elsewhere, because humanity is worth the effort’”, Rhi spoke with those piercing brown eyes. It shocked him.
It had to be a coincidence.
“Your brother wrote that once,” Jack whispered.
“I know, I read it and then I could never forget that part,” she said and sniffled.
“How could you read it? It’s supposed to be Torchwood only,” Jack told her and hoped there was another explanation. If she read the book, she knew so many things he never wanted her to know.
“A couple of years after you left, I know you’d told me a little, but I wanted to know more about my brother as you knew him. So, I asked Gwen even though he’d lied to her about some things. She told me everything she remembered,” Rhi explained, “And then she let me borrow the ‘Martyn book’ as she called it.”
Iefan’s soft snoring came through the baby monitor as he tried to process what she just said.
“So, you know everything,” he said, looking away, “You know what really happened to Lisa.”
“Jack,” she uttered and touched his face so he couldn’t look away anymore, “It doesn’t make me love him any less. He was human. He made mistakes. He made a mistake that day in Top Man. He made a mistake in London, but he did it because he loved her and if he didn’t, he never would have come back. Who knows what would have happened then? Would he have ever found his place? Would he have been happy doing anything else? I do know one thing. He never would have met you and Iefan wouldn’t be here. He loved you. He loved Torchwood. He believed in what he was doing. I understand that now and that’s why I can’t understand why you won’t go back.”
His eyes started to tear up.
“You know he’d want you to go back,” she whispered and laid her hands on his shoulders. He knew. On some level, he’d always known, but he just…couldn’t. He wasn’t ready.
“But Iefan…” he started.
“Whenever you need me, I’ll be there to watch him. If it was a case of Iefan being left an orphan, I’d never suggest it. He wouldn’t want that,” Rhi said, “But it’s not like that, Ianto knew every moment working for Torchwood that he could die and he wouldn’t come back and he did it anyway because he believed in what he was doing. You know you’ll come back, what do you have to fear?”
“Losing people,” he admitted and a tear or two fell down his face.
“Oh, come here,” she spoke and put her arms around him so his head was on her chest, “There’s no way of avoiding that. We still die even if you don’t, but if you stop letting people in because we die, you’ll miss all the good things: hugs and kisses and friends and sex.”
He knew that. He’d done very similar arguments with the Doctor, but it was easier to tell others what to do than put it in practice himself. If he had been with Torchwood, would that police constable had still died?
“They were all such good people. It just felt like one death too many,” Jack spoke and was able to smell his blood on her shirt.
“Then, think of the good things, like Iefan,” Rhi told him and rubbed his back in a comforting way, “Think of the amazing things his father did which I still find hard to believe sometimes."
Rhi let out a noise which was probably supposed to be a chuckle, but after a few seconds, the laugh changes into sniffling again.
"My little brother...saving the whole bloody universe...I wish I could have seen him like that. I saw hints that day at the play area, but nothing like what I read,” she uttered with a shake of the head.
Mica had said something similar and to think that teenager claimed to have nothing in common with her.
“Yeah,” he agreed and they stayed that way a moment more. Then, she let go of him.
“I should go,” she said, picked up her coat and let herself out. Both Mica and Rhi wanted to see Ianto in action. He only knew of one record of that and he wasn’t sure whether he could ever watch that. Everything else had probably been destroyed. Jack climbed up the stairs and caught his reflection in a hall mirror. With a frown, he saw how tired and old he appeared in it. He tried to grin like the old days, but it wouldn't come. Jack crossed to Iefan’s nursery and sat in the rocking chair; just watching him sleep. Maybe Ianto was watching him, too.
Despite Rhi’s arguments to go back, he resisted. Instead, he decided to prove her wrong about being able to stay at home with Iefan. However, since he didn’t particularly like cleaning or cooking and the shows on the telly were awful, he was finding it difficult. He had painted the fence, removed the weeds and had tried to tend to the remains of Ianto's garden as best he could. During Iefan's naps, he made it through every novel in the house. What did normal people do all day? He heard there were groups for new parents to hang out with others like them and thought he could give that a try.
On Thursday morning, he arrived at the center with Iefan and took a mat as directed.
“Hi, I’m Joely and I lead the group, just take a seat and we’ll start,” she said with a smile and seemed nice although the rest of the group were staring. He used to like being noticed. Now, he felt more like a new product to be sized up.
“We’ve never had a man before,” a young woman spoke who wasn’t taking her eyes off him as she undid her brown denim jacket.
“Now, Val, yes, we have, you just weren’t attending then,” Joely chastised, “But how about you go first?”
He noticed that they had lined extra mats so the babies could move around it if they wished. Iefan remained seated as he watched all the other people.
“My name’s Val and I’m just nineteen. This is my boy, Tony. He’s six months,” she told them and they went around the group until it was Jack’s turn.
“My name’s Jack and this is Iefan. He’s six months,” he said with a grin.
“So, you have a job at home or does your wife make all the money?” asked a young woman who appeared as though she was pregnant again while her daughter played with a toy car.
“My husband and I adopted him,” he explained and thought how this was good practice. Someday, he’d explain to Iefan why they had to lie.
“So, that’s why you don’t look alike!” Val remarked which made him frown. At least, Ianto claimed there was a resemblance.
“What does he do?” another questioned. He supposed they were trying to distract from Val’s comment, but it wasn’t going to improve the mood in any way.
“He was a civil servant,” he began and they waited as though expecting a change of job, “but he died.”
The room grew quiet as no one seemed to have any idea what to say to him. Finally, Joely broke the silence.
“We have other groups and counseling for that,” the older woman told him, “and services to deal with the difficulty of raising a child on your own.”
Difficulty? What did she know about difficulty? Did she know what it felt like to lie in bed alone while remembering what it had felt like to share it? Did she keep her husband's Burberry coat in the closet so she could smell that faint scent of aftershave and coffee? Did she have a daughter that never wanted to speak to her again? Did she have to lie about giving birth to her own child? Was she figuring out that what she was best suited for was killing?
No, he doubted she had experienced any of that.
"I could cook you dinner at my place," suggested Val with a smile.
“Brm!” yelled an older baby that was possibly named Peter who had stolen the toy car from the girl. Then, he threw it in Iefan’s direction. Jack was about to block it when his son nodded forward so the car flew over him and hit Val in the knee.
“Wow, good reflexes, Iefan!” Joely complimented and Jack forced himself to smile. He knew it had nothing to do with reflexes.
September 14th, 2010 or March 11th, 2017
Characters: Jack, Rhi Jack/Ianto
Rated: PG-13 ANGST COE Spoilers MPREG
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Summary: Jack wants a normal life.
Author's Note: Starts after COE.
Previous Segment: September 2, 2010 or February 27, 2017
Masterlist: http://ericadawn16.livejournal.com/63337.html
September 2, 2010 or February 27, 2017, Part Two
“But Gwen still works there. New people are recruited. It goes on. ‘Because they believe in what Torchwood does, what it stands for. They believe that mankind needs protection from whatever comes from elsewhere, because humanity is worth the effort’”, Rhi spoke with those piercing brown eyes. It shocked him.
It had to be a coincidence.
“Your brother wrote that once,” Jack whispered.
“I know, I read it and then I could never forget that part,” she said and sniffled.
“How could you read it? It’s supposed to be Torchwood only,” Jack told her and hoped there was another explanation. If she read the book, she knew so many things he never wanted her to know.
“A couple of years after you left, I know you’d told me a little, but I wanted to know more about my brother as you knew him. So, I asked Gwen even though he’d lied to her about some things. She told me everything she remembered,” Rhi explained, “And then she let me borrow the ‘Martyn book’ as she called it.”
Iefan’s soft snoring came through the baby monitor as he tried to process what she just said.
“So, you know everything,” he said, looking away, “You know what really happened to Lisa.”
“Jack,” she uttered and touched his face so he couldn’t look away anymore, “It doesn’t make me love him any less. He was human. He made mistakes. He made a mistake that day in Top Man. He made a mistake in London, but he did it because he loved her and if he didn’t, he never would have come back. Who knows what would have happened then? Would he have ever found his place? Would he have been happy doing anything else? I do know one thing. He never would have met you and Iefan wouldn’t be here. He loved you. He loved Torchwood. He believed in what he was doing. I understand that now and that’s why I can’t understand why you won’t go back.”
His eyes started to tear up.
“You know he’d want you to go back,” she whispered and laid her hands on his shoulders. He knew. On some level, he’d always known, but he just…couldn’t. He wasn’t ready.
“But Iefan…” he started.
“Whenever you need me, I’ll be there to watch him. If it was a case of Iefan being left an orphan, I’d never suggest it. He wouldn’t want that,” Rhi said, “But it’s not like that, Ianto knew every moment working for Torchwood that he could die and he wouldn’t come back and he did it anyway because he believed in what he was doing. You know you’ll come back, what do you have to fear?”
“Losing people,” he admitted and a tear or two fell down his face.
“Oh, come here,” she spoke and put her arms around him so his head was on her chest, “There’s no way of avoiding that. We still die even if you don’t, but if you stop letting people in because we die, you’ll miss all the good things: hugs and kisses and friends and sex.”
He knew that. He’d done very similar arguments with the Doctor, but it was easier to tell others what to do than put it in practice himself. If he had been with Torchwood, would that police constable had still died?
“They were all such good people. It just felt like one death too many,” Jack spoke and was able to smell his blood on her shirt.
“Then, think of the good things, like Iefan,” Rhi told him and rubbed his back in a comforting way, “Think of the amazing things his father did which I still find hard to believe sometimes."
Rhi let out a noise which was probably supposed to be a chuckle, but after a few seconds, the laugh changes into sniffling again.
"My little brother...saving the whole bloody universe...I wish I could have seen him like that. I saw hints that day at the play area, but nothing like what I read,” she uttered with a shake of the head.
Mica had said something similar and to think that teenager claimed to have nothing in common with her.
“Yeah,” he agreed and they stayed that way a moment more. Then, she let go of him.
“I should go,” she said, picked up her coat and let herself out. Both Mica and Rhi wanted to see Ianto in action. He only knew of one record of that and he wasn’t sure whether he could ever watch that. Everything else had probably been destroyed. Jack climbed up the stairs and caught his reflection in a hall mirror. With a frown, he saw how tired and old he appeared in it. He tried to grin like the old days, but it wouldn't come. Jack crossed to Iefan’s nursery and sat in the rocking chair; just watching him sleep. Maybe Ianto was watching him, too.
Despite Rhi’s arguments to go back, he resisted. Instead, he decided to prove her wrong about being able to stay at home with Iefan. However, since he didn’t particularly like cleaning or cooking and the shows on the telly were awful, he was finding it difficult. He had painted the fence, removed the weeds and had tried to tend to the remains of Ianto's garden as best he could. During Iefan's naps, he made it through every novel in the house. What did normal people do all day? He heard there were groups for new parents to hang out with others like them and thought he could give that a try.
On Thursday morning, he arrived at the center with Iefan and took a mat as directed.
“Hi, I’m Joely and I lead the group, just take a seat and we’ll start,” she said with a smile and seemed nice although the rest of the group were staring. He used to like being noticed. Now, he felt more like a new product to be sized up.
“We’ve never had a man before,” a young woman spoke who wasn’t taking her eyes off him as she undid her brown denim jacket.
“Now, Val, yes, we have, you just weren’t attending then,” Joely chastised, “But how about you go first?”
He noticed that they had lined extra mats so the babies could move around it if they wished. Iefan remained seated as he watched all the other people.
“My name’s Val and I’m just nineteen. This is my boy, Tony. He’s six months,” she told them and they went around the group until it was Jack’s turn.
“My name’s Jack and this is Iefan. He’s six months,” he said with a grin.
“So, you have a job at home or does your wife make all the money?” asked a young woman who appeared as though she was pregnant again while her daughter played with a toy car.
“My husband and I adopted him,” he explained and thought how this was good practice. Someday, he’d explain to Iefan why they had to lie.
“So, that’s why you don’t look alike!” Val remarked which made him frown. At least, Ianto claimed there was a resemblance.
“What does he do?” another questioned. He supposed they were trying to distract from Val’s comment, but it wasn’t going to improve the mood in any way.
“He was a civil servant,” he began and they waited as though expecting a change of job, “but he died.”
The room grew quiet as no one seemed to have any idea what to say to him. Finally, Joely broke the silence.
“We have other groups and counseling for that,” the older woman told him, “and services to deal with the difficulty of raising a child on your own.”
Difficulty? What did she know about difficulty? Did she know what it felt like to lie in bed alone while remembering what it had felt like to share it? Did she keep her husband's Burberry coat in the closet so she could smell that faint scent of aftershave and coffee? Did she have a daughter that never wanted to speak to her again? Did she have to lie about giving birth to her own child? Was she figuring out that what she was best suited for was killing?
No, he doubted she had experienced any of that.
"I could cook you dinner at my place," suggested Val with a smile.
“Brm!” yelled an older baby that was possibly named Peter who had stolen the toy car from the girl. Then, he threw it in Iefan’s direction. Jack was about to block it when his son nodded forward so the car flew over him and hit Val in the knee.
“Wow, good reflexes, Iefan!” Joely complimented and Jack forced himself to smile. He knew it had nothing to do with reflexes.
September 14th, 2010 or March 11th, 2017
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Date: 2010-02-07 08:39 pm (UTC)Looking forward to finding out and reading more.
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Date: 2010-03-22 05:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-08 01:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-22 05:30 am (UTC)I'm glad you enjoyed it. I really appreciate your reviews.
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Date: 2010-02-08 03:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-22 05:41 am (UTC)thanks
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Date: 2010-02-10 07:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-22 05:44 am (UTC)I like your icon.