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Work Post: Fandom Friends
Nov. 27th, 2017 11:03 pmI had a best friend at work, Mi, but she turned out to be an alcoholic and moved away. However, I missed that feeling of getting off work and doing something together...
But I didn't realize how much Mi had hurt. I found myself deliberately not talking to people who obviously had common interests.
Then, there was Li. She had known Mi, too. We were all set to do Orlando MegaCon and Norman Reedus dropped out. Then, we were going to do a make-up day of fun anyway and...she got sick. We still haven't hung out together.
A month or two later, Am came to work. At this point, I had hardened myself further. I wasn't meant to have physical friends. It was May 23 so I wore my dinosaur shirt and dinosaur earrings.
"Are those DINOSAURS on your SHIRT???"
This was followed by the loudest squee I've ever heard in person.
How could I not like her?
We hung out several times. Then, her husband graduated from the Coast Guard and moved to Ohio. Everyone else always makes it seem like it's natural to be friends with your coworkers, like they're the most awesome people around. I have this friend from high school where her coworkers threw her a party just to show their gratitude for her!
I began to wonder if something was wrong with me, but I already know everything wrong with me and not wanting to drink a lot and be around smoke just doesn't seem like a fatal flaw.
This means the job is the problem. I need a better one which I already knew but this just sort of further cemented it.
I met a former coworker and he explained that he doesn't talk to his current coworkers. They're for work and that's it. Instead, he makes plans with customers or even people he finds while shopping himself. It's like dating but with friends. This seems like a good idea but incredibly scary...like talking to people. I never learned dating skills.
I do have friends on Facebook that invite me to things but without a car, that's kind of moot. Sometimes, I'll invite someone with a car to pick me up and go together. Then, they see where it is: Gandy Blvd, St. Pete, Clearwater, Largo and they're like...yeah...no, that's not going to happen.
At least my family is dependable...half the time...
But I didn't realize how much Mi had hurt. I found myself deliberately not talking to people who obviously had common interests.
Then, there was Li. She had known Mi, too. We were all set to do Orlando MegaCon and Norman Reedus dropped out. Then, we were going to do a make-up day of fun anyway and...she got sick. We still haven't hung out together.
A month or two later, Am came to work. At this point, I had hardened myself further. I wasn't meant to have physical friends. It was May 23 so I wore my dinosaur shirt and dinosaur earrings.
"Are those DINOSAURS on your SHIRT???"
This was followed by the loudest squee I've ever heard in person.
How could I not like her?
We hung out several times. Then, her husband graduated from the Coast Guard and moved to Ohio. Everyone else always makes it seem like it's natural to be friends with your coworkers, like they're the most awesome people around. I have this friend from high school where her coworkers threw her a party just to show their gratitude for her!
I began to wonder if something was wrong with me, but I already know everything wrong with me and not wanting to drink a lot and be around smoke just doesn't seem like a fatal flaw.
This means the job is the problem. I need a better one which I already knew but this just sort of further cemented it.
I met a former coworker and he explained that he doesn't talk to his current coworkers. They're for work and that's it. Instead, he makes plans with customers or even people he finds while shopping himself. It's like dating but with friends. This seems like a good idea but incredibly scary...like talking to people. I never learned dating skills.
I do have friends on Facebook that invite me to things but without a car, that's kind of moot. Sometimes, I'll invite someone with a car to pick me up and go together. Then, they see where it is: Gandy Blvd, St. Pete, Clearwater, Largo and they're like...yeah...no, that's not going to happen.
At least my family is dependable...half the time...
