Friends to the End: Chapter One
Apr. 30th, 2012 02:04 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ericadawn16Title: Friends to the End
Author: Ericadawn16
Prompt: The wonderful mash-up of Friends and Avengers
Character/Pairing(s): Clint/Jessica Drew, Jessica Drew/Vange Whedon, Tony/Pepper, Pepper/Natasha, Tony/Thor, Phil/Clint, Clint/Natasha, Clint/?, Natasha/?
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Slash, lots of slash, mild language
Spoilers: a few references here and there, nothing big
Summary: What if the Avengers were more like Friends? AU
Beta: BIG Thanks to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
lavendergaia and valoscope
Author Notes: If you have any episodes or scenes in particular that you want to see, please comment with them and I'll see what I can do.
Season One
The One where Loki gets a Roommate
December 2013
"That probably could have gone better," Tony Stark remarked.
"You mean the part where she tried to kill him at the altar and we had to stop it?" Bruce asked, shaking his head.
"Or the part where your mechanic skills were outmatched by a small child?" Clint countered with a grin.
"First of all...Franklin Richards is no small child. He's more...a freak of nature. Now having your fiancé turn out to be a robot who then tries to kill you and everyone in the room...not good, but actually, I was thinking about hiring this deejay. It's been nothing but Mariah Carey for an hour now," Tony explained. Then, he took a large gulp of his drink.
"Now you know why Jessica and I eloped to Florida," Clint muttered.
"Happy," Tony spoke, "Happy had a nice wedding."
"That's because you had me plan most of it which Rebecca was not thrilled with and now Happy can't even work for me," Pepper complained.
"None of us really has any reason to talk," Steve spoke, casting a glare at Tony.
"True, how long did your marriage last again, Clint? A month? Two?" Tony asked. Pepper cleared her throat.
"Technically, the divorce hasn't been finalized yet," Clint answered.
"Where is Coulson? I haven't seen him here yet. I'm sure he needs a drink...or five," Tony spoke, "before Thor finishes it off."
"Leave him alone. Barton and I have known him the longest. He went somewhere private and we'll see him again when he's ready," Natasha said with a glare.
"Then, why's Archer Boy gone?" he asked and it was true that Clint was now missing from the table.
"Maybe because you're an ass," Natasha suggested.
***************************************************************
Clint supposed the Museum of Natural History was neutral ground. He waited for Jessica Drew to show up. When she did, he almost didn't recognize her. Usually, her hair was dyed black but today, she was wearing a wig and looser fitting clothes. He couldn't fathom why she would want to meet unless there was a snag with the divorce on her end.
"Jessica," he acknowledged with a nod. His first instinct was still to touch her, embrace her but that wasn't his place now. She had Vange for that.
"Barton," she said in a low voice.
"What's new?" he asked, trying for casual. She smiled and shook her head. Then, took his hand and took them to a less populated spot in a blind spot from the cameras. She undid the jacket to reveal a small bulge.
"Pregnant."
Clint reached out to steady himself on the edge of the exhibit. He felt like he'd been punched in the gut.
"What?"
"Our son," she elaborated and he tried to put words together in his head. He wasn't having much luck. Jessica laughed.
**************************************************************
Coulson didn't look up when he heard the door open. From the footsteps, he knew it was the owner of the apartment. He put one hand on his gun and the other on his taser.
"What are you doing here?" Loki asked with narrowed eyes. "Need I remind you what happened last time we met?"
"I had planned on being at my wedding reception, followed by a flight to an exotic locale. I had even given up my apartment in favor of her apartment. Now, that's gone and by our records, you haven't even been to this apartment in at least six weeks," Coulson explained.
"Don't you have a whole tower for this purpose?" Loki asked.
"And face Tony Stark with that look of pity I saw earlier? I'd rather take my chances with you."
Before Loki could think of a new retort, Coulson turned the volume on the television up. It wasn't his usual fare but he didn't feel like his usual self. He wasn't sure what to think. Loki seemed to study the television with inquisitive blue eyes.
"And mortals enjoy that?" he asked about the act that Coulson had previously only seen illustrated in the Kama Sutra.
"Apparently. I turned it on and there it was, assumed you were a fan," Coulson spoke.
"No," Loki said but didn't stop watching and after a few minutes, joined Coulson on the couch.
TWO HOURS LATER...
EIGHT HOURS LATER...
TWO DAYS LATER...
The door swung open with a sudden force. Coulson guessed who it was before craning his neck but it was still disappointing; five Avengers plus Pepper.
"I left my phone and car at the Tower so how did you find me?" Coulson asked.
"Text message," Tony answered and held up his phone. "'He's at my place. Come get him' and then there's a .gif of a kitten begging."
"But if you break the device, the kitten will not be freed because it's not real," Thor added. Coulson shot Loki a dirty look.
"I don't want to leave. I don't have to. I was authorized 14 days off for my honeymoon. This is how I'm spending it."
"At least turn off the porn," Pepper spoke with disdain.
"No," Coulson refused and crossed his arms, not caring that he sounded like a child. These people had already seen him at his absolute worst.
"What would be our incentive?" Loki asked.
"Pepper and I will make out," Natasha suggested.
"This is pleasing to me," Loki agreed and turned to Coulson.
"Does nothing for me," he said with a shrug. Natasha looked at Pepper who nodded.
"Fine, then Tony will make out with Thor," Natasha suggested.
"What?" Tony and Thor asked.
"No, absolutely not," Tony argued.
"Well, I suppose if you won't kiss Thor, I won't need to kiss Natasha," Pepper spoke. Tony seemed to reconsider his thoughts. "You're right; it's for the good of the team."
"Okay," Coulson agreed and turned around. Pepper and Natasha went first. It was a full-on lip lock where they held onto one another and just when it looked like Tony's trousers were going to tear, they broke away.
"Your turn," Pepper spoke and patted Tony on the shoulder.
"Right," Tony said, unsure. He walked closer to Thor and Loki chuckled. Thor bent down to meet Tony's lips and it was an awkward kiss. Both men seemed unsure how much effort to put into it or where lips should go. Just as they started to find a rhythm, Coulson hit the Power button on the remote and the two men pulled apart.
"I want to leave now," Pepper said and dragged Tony away. He winked at the rest of them. The other four began to follow after them.
"But I'm not coming with you," Coulson spoke.
"Son of Coul, my brother-" he started and gave Loki a sad look. "He's not to be trusted."
"And you don't think I'm well aware of that?" Coulson asked although he was touched that Thor was still affected all these months later. "I like it here for now."
"I don't have a say in this?" Loki asked.
"Not really. I have a variety of weapons at my disposal other than the Avengers. For example, the IRS. Ever heard of an audit? It's not pretty. On the other hand, if you were to let me stay with you, we might be able to be a tiny bit more lenient about your surveillance," Coulson spoke, not mentioning how Nick Fury lived just below the penthouse anyway. "I'll also pay my fair share."
Everyone looked at Loki.
"Fine, but this is temporary, I assure you," Loki agreed.
The One with the Birth
May 29, 2014
Even though it had been five months since she'd told him, sometimes, it was still hard to believe that Clint Barton was going to be a father. However, here he was in Jessica's hospital room with her girlfriend. He hated feeling like the third wheel when it was his son, too.
"Come on, you can do this," Vange spoke in a soft voice and stroked Jessica's arm. "For Jordy."
"Jordy? Who's Jordy?"
"Our son," Jessica answered before gritting her way through another contraction.
"No, I thought we agreed on Jamie," Clint complained.
"Well, Jamie was the name of Vange's first girlfriend, so we went back to Jordy," Jessica explained.
"Jordy Barton? Jordy Drew? It doesn't sound right," Clint complained.
"Actually, we were thinking of Jordy Drew-Whedon," Vange explained, "Her name and my last name, simpler."
"So have you planned his whole future without me then?" Clint asked, not hiding his annoyance.
"We can't help it if you're never around," Vange spoke.
"Stop it, both of you! I want you out!" Jessica spoke, "Both of you."
Clint and Vange were both about to complain when Hank gave them both a glare.
"Jessica wants some space for now. You have time," he said, leading them to the door. "Get over yourselves before you come back."
"This is your fault," Clint complained.
"My fault?" Vange asked. "You're the one threatened by me."
"Threatened by you? Of course, I'm threatened by you. I thought my marriage was fine until you came along. You were there through all of the pregnancy. She didn't even tell me until the second trimester and you're right, I am gone a lot so you'll have him most of the time and now he'll even have your name. He's my son and it feels almost like you're taking him from me."
Clint couldn't remember the last time he had said that much at one time.
"Are you trying to anger me? Because you won't like it," Vange spat.
"I've always wanted to see a dragon in real life. Now do you stay your size or is it like when Bruce does it?" Clint asked and she fumed. He was so preoccupied with arguing with her that he hadn't heard the loud footsteps until it was too late. Ben Grimm had picked both of them up, taking them to an empty room.
"This is supposed to be a school! Children are trying to study and you're yelling for everyone to hear! Stop it," Ben chastised. He went to leave but broke the door knob. "Oops."
"Oops?" Clint and Vange asked at the same time. "No!"
"We're locked in here while she's having my baby?" Vange asked.
"Our baby," Clint corrected and realized he said "our". His light brown eyes met her blue ones.
"This is great," Ben spoke.
"Great?" Vange asked.
"This baby is so loved that you're fighting over who can love it more especially for being a mutant baby. Think of all the kids Charles has taken in that their parents kicked out. Life's no picnic for me either, but he has three parents already that love him so much but don't mind me, continue fighting," Ben spoke.
Clint was starting to feel very foolish and he thought Vange might be feeling the same way.
**********************************************************
"Where are they?" Jessica complained to Hank. He carefully sent off a couple of text messages.
"What if they don't make it?" she asked in hysterics and touching her belly.
"They will be here. Give me one moment," he said with a smile and opened the door. He looked in the hall and spotted someone to help.
"Jean!" he called out and she came closer. "We appear to have lost our lawyer and an Avenger in the mansion. Jessica's quite anxious so could you find them?"
"Of course," Jean agreed.
******************************************************************
"Baby Coming NOW!" Clint read off his phone as Vange looked at her phone, too. If their stupid fight caused them to miss the birth, he'd never forgive himself.
"Ben, I know it's Charles' place and all, but couldn't you break the door? Make a hole? Something?" Clint asked.
"I second that," Vange agreed.
"Fine, clobbering time," he agreed and backed up to run for the door. Just as he readied himself, it opened to reveal Jean Grey.
"Ah, here you are," she said with a smile and they ran out.
Twenty minutes later, Jessica clutched the new baby with Clint and Vange at her side. Clint was speechless as his son briefly grasped his finger.
"He still needs a name," Jessica whispered.
"How about Ben?" Clint suggested and looked at Vange who smiled.
"I like it," Jessica agreed. Then, there was a knock at the door. Hank peeked in and asked, "There's a couple of visitors. You want me to send them or tell them to leave?"
"It's Phil and Natasha, isn't it?" Jessica whispered.
"Probably," Clint agreed.
"It's okay," Jessica called out and Hank opened the door all the way for Phil and Natasha to walk in. Clint couldn't remember ever seeing Natasha around babies. If someone bought one to SHIELD, she tended to avoid them at all costs. On the other hand, Phil loved babies.
"Aww, he looks a lot like you. So, what's the name?" Phil asked.
"Ben," Clint spoke and Phil nodded. Jessica held him out for Phil to take and he supported the head without being told.
"Now, make sure you take after your mommies. They don't cause me any grief or paperwork like your daddy does," Phil spoke and Jessica and Vange laughed. Clint shot him a look.
"Natasha, would you like to hold him?" Phil asked. Her expression was one of horror, like being told she had to redo forms. "Or not."
He gave him to Clint who forgot for a moment that anyone else was around as Ben yawned. Everything his son did was fascinating.
The One where Everyone Turns 50
July 8, 2014
"Where is Clint?" Bruce asked.
"He traded missions with me. I mentioned how I've never been to one of Phil's parties before so he suggested it," Steve explained, before plunking along on the guitar he'd bought down from his floor.
"I didn't know you played," Bruce spoke.
"Clint's been teaching me. You should hear him play piano. He's really swell," Steve said with a smile. Tony laughed at his word usage before turning it into a cough. Then, he caught sight of another party guest and made his way into the kitchen.
"No talking to Parker tonight, Stark. I mean it. I don't like your influence on him," Phil said without pausing in his duties. He was making up more party platters so they looked perfect.
"Who do you think I'm hiding from here?" Tony asked before opening a beer. "I make one suit for the kid and he thinks we're best bros or something."
"Tell me about it. Blake opened his big mouth about the party tonight right in front of him. Now, I have five teenagers at my 50th birthday party," Phil complained. Tony took a large gulp and narrowed his eyes.
"Are we having a moment?" he asked and Phil groaned. "So, 50...we should have bought the Over the Hill decorations."
"Less than nine years, Tony," Phil reminded him and Tony frowned. "Here, make yourself useful."
He stuck a platter into Tony's right hand and gestured to the door.
Pepper saw Tony relegated to snack duty and smiled. Then, she spied Natasha and hurried over to her.
"I'm not staying. Phil is texting me when it's time for presents. Otherwise, I'll be upstairs, studying," Natasha spoke, stealing a sandwich.
"I just have to talk to someone and I didn't want to bug Phil about it," Pepper spoke. Natasha nodded. "Come upstairs."
Pepper followed her into her bedroom which was neat and tidy and revealed nothing personal about the occupant.
"You've never been up here before," Natasha commented.
"Not since the rebuilding/remodeling," Pepper said, noticing Natasha turning papers over so Pepper couldn't read them.
"So, what is it?" Natasha asked.
"It's something that Tony doesn't know about," Pepper started.
"You're not pregnant, are you?" Natasha asked.
"No, no, oh God no. Can you even picture that? Tony couldn't handle that at all," Pepper said, shaking her head.
"Barton's made me hold the baby twice. I keep thinking that I'll drop it. I don't want to be the one to break his kid," Natasha complained.
"I think it's something you have to practice at with experience," Pepper spoke.
"Really?" Natasha asked.
"I don't know. It's what they say," Pepper said with a shrug. "Clint doesn't seem too bad at it now though. No, my parents died a few years ago. I went through everything important, made arrangements but it wasn't until now that I went through the rest of it and I found adoption papers...for me."
"No idea?" Natasha asked.
"None. I was floored. I thought I was their kid. I still am. They raised me but..." Pepper paused before continuing, "I can't help wondering where I really came from."
"You know Stark Industries could easily do this?" Natasha asked.
"And then it would become a project and a thing and Tony wouldn't rest until I had met every third-cousin. I don't want that," Pepper explained and Natasha nodded.
"SHIELD has one of the largest DNA databases in the world. I could look for you without letting anyone else know," Natasha offered. It was what Pepper was hoping for.
"I'm not ready yet, but thank you," she said before Natasha's phone chirped.
"Present time," Natasha spoke without even checking it and they headed downstairs.
"Peter, I notice you and your friends are not having the beer. We must be festive. I will bring you some!" said Thor. Four of the five teenagers cheered before Maria Hill grabbed the man's arm.
"They aren't allowed to have beer," she told him.
"I don't understand. Is it an allergy? A special brew?" Thor asked.
"We have laws against teenagers drinking," Maria spoke.
"Laws? Nonsense, I started drinking as a child," Thor spoke and undid her grasp.
"Phil, time for presents!" Bruce screamed before there could be an incident. Phil was made to sit down on the couch and Natasha cringed as Tony produced a black birthday hat to wear. Phil mouthed something that was definitely a threat. The first few presents were the usual books and gift certificates. Then...
"Wrecking Ball! Thanks, Pepper, I hadn't picked this one up yet!" Phil yelled and she smiled.
"I can't wait for tomorrow," Pepper whispered to Natasha before Tony could be in earshot. However, Peter Parker got to them first. Natasha slipped away, closer to Steve.
"Pepper Potts! I've always wanted to meet you. Tony's right hand man, so to speak. Principal Coulson sure liked your gift," Peter spoke. "Did you two go out?"
Pepper was going to settle for an eye roll but she started laughing instead as though she would talk about her private life with a sophomore.
"What?" Peter asked.
"You're just...very, very young," she said and started laughing again before composing herself again. "Excuse me."
Tony took her hand but she was afraid that Peter would still follow them so steered them to sit beside Phil. He gave her a look as he took a gift bag off the floor.
"Barton," he read off the tag even though Pepper could see that it said Clint. He reached inside and pulled out a record that looked brand new, Frampton Comes Alive!
"Wow," he spoke and Pepper had only seen this speechless once before. She put a hand on Phil's knee, enjoying the expression on Peter's face.
"Uh...I can't believe he remembered. It was last summer, at least. I mentioned how my first concert had been one of the concerts recorded for this. I can't believe he remembered," Phil rambled.
"Those aren't cheap either," Tony pointed out. "It's a mint condition original."
"Can you really be that surprised? Remember when he fell in love with Drew and bought her that ridiculous crystal spider?" Blake asked and the whole room grew quiet.
"What?" Phil asked.
"Oh," Blake said and seemed to realize the entire room was looking between him and Phil. "You mean you didn't know?"
"What was I supposed to know?" Phil asked even though Pepper could tell the truth was dawning on him.
"Well, I mean...I thought you knew...you know everything and everyone else knew. Barton's been in love with you since you went through training together," Blake explained and Pepper winced. There were winces and groans throughout the room except for Peter asking, "Is Principal Coulson gay?"
"And everyone knew," Phil spoke, already knowing the answer. "Everyone but me?"
"Even Fury knew about it," Blake confirmed before being grabbed by Maria.
"Agent Blake, I think we should have a talk in the kitchen," Maria said as they disappeared from sight. Embarrassed junior agents began gathering up their coats and belongings to leave. Natasha hurried to Phil and Steve followed.
"I didn't know," Steve assured everyone. The girl in Peter's group turned to them and suggested they should leave.
"I...I think I want some air," Phil announced and walked towards patio doors. Natasha walked after him.
********************************************************************
Natasha shut the doors behind them.
"Phil," Natasha spoke and he turned around.
"Since training?" Phil asked.
"That's what they say. I hadn't joined yet," Natasha spoke.
"Well, of course you hadn't, that was TEN years ago and he never said anything," Phil stated, crossing his arms again.
"Clint never says anything, you know that," Natasha spoke. Phil walked over to the railing and grabbed it. "Do you love him?"
"Yes, I love both of you. The question is, Am I IN love with him?" Phil asked, "And that's a question I've never considered."
Phil rubbed his face with his hands.
"Why did it have to be now?"
"Because this is when he gave you the record and Blake couldn't keep his mouth shut?" Natasha suggested, trying to lighten the mood. It didn't work.
"That's true. If he didn't tell me himself, does it even count? Maybe I should just pretend none of it happened," Phil spoke, thinking aloud.
"Is that what you really want?" she asked. "I have to join him on the mission in six hours."
"I'm aware," Phil spat. He took a deep breath and let it go. "Don't say anything to him. If he doesn't want to act on it, I won't either."
She waited for a nod.
"Okay," she agreed.
************************************************************************
"Isn't Principal Coulson like way older than Hawkeye?" Peter was heard asking as the teenagers left. Tony rolled his eyes. Pepper laughed.
"Nine years apart really isn't that much," she commented. Tony shrugged.
"He's a fifteen year old. Everything is old to him," he said.
"Boy, Sitwell really did it this time, he would have been better off as a mime," Steve sang, strumming the guitar. Everyone looked at him. "No? Not a moment for singing?"
"After the wedding and all, I really hoped this would go better especially with turning fifty and everything," said Bruce.
"I loved turning fifty. We went on a drinking tour of all nine realms. Then, for Loki's birthday, we did the same but we interfered too much with mortals. Loki and I were never sure which of us fathered Harald so father banned us from Midgard for a millennium," Thor explained. Pepper couldn't help gasping.
"Harald Hardrada?" she asked and Thor nodded.
"And for those of us who weren't art history majors?" Tony asked. Sometimes, it was so frustrating to be surrounded by brilliant scientists who knew very little outside their field and hobbies.
"Double majored," Pepper corrected. "1015 AD was when Norway banned Viking Berserkers because the last two years had been especially bad..."
"We were such imps in our younger days," Thor said with a shrug.
"And it was the year that Harald Hardrada was born. Harald is considered one of the greatest kings of Norway and the last Viking king. King Harald 'distinguished himself above all other men by wisdom and resources of mind; whether he had to take a resolution suddenly for himself and others, or after long deliberation. He was, also, above all men, bold, brave, and lucky, until his dying day and bravery is half victory'. When he was young, the Byzantine Emperor employed him as a personal guard and when Harald died, he had invaded England. Even though he was killed, his invasion was so successful that Norway beat England a few weeks later which changed England forever," Pepper explained and everyone else in the room stared at Thor.
"What were his physical characteristics?" Bruce asked.
"Extremely tall, extremely muscled and blond," Pepper spoke.
"I think you can rule out Loki," Tony told them.
"If only we could all have that excitement when turning fifty," Bruce joked.
"But not too much excitement for you, Bruce," Tony remarked.
"I should have turned fifty back in 1972," Steve spoke and shook his head. "I can't even imagine it now."
"I liked turning a thousand. Father allowed us to travel to Midgard again but we were more mindful this time," Thor explained.
"Next to that, fifty doesn't seem so bad," Steve spoke and everyone laughed.
"Still, you can't help wondering what we'll be like then," Bruce said. "We might not even all still be around." Pepper frowned and others groaned. "Not just that, but moving, doing other projects. This wasn't supposed to be a lifetime gig."
They all drank and looked thoughtful.
December 18, 2019
"What about tonight? Any plans for tonight?" Bruce asked.
"No, it should be free and clear; a good night to catch up on Dancing with the Stars," Phil spoke, gathering up his papers to leave. He had no appointments or classes for the rest of the day.
"Oh...right," said Bruce and left as Peter walked in.
"Professor Coulson, is everything right with Professor Banner? He looked like somebody forgot his birthday," Peter said.
"No..." Phil started because Bruce's birthday wasn't until the 22nd. Then, he noticed the date on his watch.
Shit. Between the newlyweds and the prophecy and Peggy, they had forgotten Bruce's birthday. He was going to have to come up with something really good.
"Peter, whatever it is, you'll have to tell me on the way to the car," he said and started for the door.
January 7, 2023
Clint woke up early, like usual. His phone already held a dozen text messages for his birthday. He stopped in front of the mirror and studied his reflection. His hair had some grey here and there and he had to wear contacts now.
"I'm officially old," he whispered. He wasn't expecting to live this long especially with all those who didn't make it. After putting on a bathrobe, he walked outside to the balcony. Tourists were starting to fill the streets below him and he saw that the paparazzi with their telephoto lenses were already out in force. He knew they wanted they wanted the new girl in his life right now. A dirty thought crossed his mind but he could hear calling for him so he changed his mind. He shut and locked the balcony doors behind him before planning their breakfast in his head.
May 10, 2023
Tony went from room to room, looking. He found Steve instead.
"I have party guests all over Stark Tower. I have almost everything exactly how I planned it but I can't find the one person that actually means anything to me tonight. Where is Pepper?" he asked. Steve hesitated for a second.
"She had to go. She didn't want your party to be ruined so Coulson took her!" he shouted because Tony was already running by the second sentence.
November 22, 2034
Natasha pulled up the rear in the semi-darkness. Everyone else on the team was ahead. Her ankle was still hurting her from the stupid fall moments before. She didn't think of herself as old but it seemed her body had other ideas. Natasha was also being followed by a redheaded man with facial hair to match. He wasn't even trying for her not to see him. Three more guards appeared. She rolled despite her ankle and shot them in quick succession but something wasn't right.
"Look out!" called a male voice and she listened for the fourth one's location. It was too late as she felt the bullet hit her chest. She got another shot off and fell back. Someone was running to her and she became unconscious. Her last thought was that this time would be the end.
The next thing she was aware of was being kissed. If she wasn't so confused, it would have been better.
"What?" she started before taking in her surroundings, the dead guards and the man helping her to sit up. Then, she knew what had happened. "You didn't have to do that."
"Leave you to die? Yes, I know, but I didn't want to this time," he said. His blue eyes didn't quite meet her own.
"We have to stop meeting like this," Natasha joked.
"Think of it as a birthday present," he said. "Can you stand?"
"Yeah," she confirmed and held out a hand for him to help her up. "Nice disguise, I like the red."
She smiled as she studied her new shirt.
"Didn't fool you," he said.
"I know that kiss anywhere," Natasha said. "Now, are you going to help me stop your daughter from destroying the planet?"
"It was an idea," he spoke, "but come on."
July 4, 2040
Steve had thought a pool party might be more pleasant than the usual night-time affair and maybe everyone would leave before it became too late. He soon found out this was naive. Steve knew for a fact that he had not invited Loki but he and his brother were off to one side, arguing. Loki was more melancholy and angry lately than he had been in decades. He was almost worried for him.
Children ran everywhere. He couldn't even remember who belonged to whom. Some of them chased Cosmo.
Steve pulled out a beer from one of the ice chests, popped it open and walked to the kitchen. It wouldn't do any good but he liked having something in his hand.
"You don't look very happy for being the birthday boy," said a female voice. He almost jumped before chastising himself on not hearing her walk in. Elli Romanoff stood in the kitchen with a mixed drink. There was no point in reminding her that she wasn't 21 yet or even 18.
Steve shrugged and she came closer.
"And I can't get you drunk because that's impossible so you might as well talk now," said Elli. He shook his head but Elli was the persistent sort. "Or I have Thor throw you into the pool."
Steve tried not to smile.
"He'd have to catch me first," he said.
"And of course, that won't happen," she said in a whisper and a smile of her own. Like Natasha, Elli excelled at talking. He felt his defenses being lowered. "Come on, didn't get the present that you wanted? Wanted to be somewhere else?"
Steve cringed but she seemed to know the truth.
"Or is it someone who's not here?" she asked and her blue eyes were warm.
"Today, I turned fifty. Next year will be the hundredth anniversary of my becoming this and the very beginnings of SHIELD. I'm still here and so many are not and it's all the same. New people come in, we defeat the villains and new villains come along. People die and villains die and it never changes," Steve complained. "Look at Sylene. Every year, she has a new plan to mess things up."
"Don't be so hard on her. She had a hard childhood. With different circumstances, she could have been me and I could have been her. It's not easy being a child of Earth and Asgard and Jotunheim and she didn't have her dad around to help her," Elli spoke.
"No, no. We all have hard childhoods. We don't all become villains over it," Steve spoke, "and don't you dare compare yourself with her. I know you. I've fought with you. You're a good person, like your mom was."
Elli downed the rest of her drink.
"You're right. I have fought with you. I know this job. I may be young but I know what's at stake. I know the sacrifice this responsibility demands. It's not easy. It's not easy when they die in your arms and it's not easy when those you save start shooting at you because one man's villain is another man's hero but it has to be done," she said. "I miss them, too, but I'm not about to disgrace their memory by giving up and you shouldn't either." She was right. He was having a pity party.
"And what do you recommend?" he asked. She leaned up although her height was enough to tower over most men. With the short heels, they were about the same height.
"You should get laid," she whispered and he had to laugh. Then, with a smirk, she added, "I wasn't offering but how about Carol?"
"Ms. Marvel? I don't know," he said and shook his head.
"Come on, I'm not going to let you stay here and not try talking to her," Elli spoke and took his hand. They stepped outside and Cosmo bounded for them. Steve never trusted that dog. He was about to take a different path to avoid him when Elli touched the ground. Snow sprung up and the dog stopped, confused. Elli laughed and kept going.
"That's new," Steve commented.
"Just something from my dad," she said and before he could think about that, pulled him in another direction. "There she is, go."
He took a breath and approached the blonde woman.
July 9, 2014
Phil wheeled a piece of luggage with his presents into the main room. Loki was still up, reading. It looked like Hamlet. He was tempted to not acknowledge him. He hadn't invited him to either event. However, he had to know.
"When you possessed Barton, were you able to feel what he felt about me?" Phil asked. Loki looked up from his book.
"Why should I have bothered with mortal feelings when I had bigger plans?" he asked and Phil nodded. It made sense. He, Steve and Loki were their own oblivious group. Phil stifled the urge to sigh and continued to his room.
*******************************************************************
"So you left to find a better reason than the one we were living for
And it's not that nursery mouth that I came back for
It's not the way you're stretched out on the floor
'Cause I've broken all your windows and I've rammed through all your doors
And who am I to ask you to lick my sores?
And you should know that's true," sang Bruce Springsteen on the stage. It should have been the highlight of Phil's year so why was he so miserable?
"Uh, Phil..." Pepper started, speaking right in his ear so they could hear over the music.
"Yeah?" Phil asked.
"Tony might show up. Steve cracked and told him about it so Tony figured out that last night was for work and this was for friends," Pepper explained and he nodded. He knew Tony would find out eventually.
"Phil, are you okay?" she asked.
"Yeah," he said without thinking before admitting. "No. No, I'm not. I keep thinking like maybe I've done something colossally stupid."
Pepper took his hand.
"Go get him. Be there when he comes back."
Phil hesitated. He watched the figures on the stage, but it was impossible to really enjoy it; not like Steve who stood entranced to one side or Bruce with a huge smile on his face. Just yesterday, he was marveling over Steve Rogers at his own birthday party but now everything had changed. Was that why Clint had traded with Steve? Just so Steve could go?
"You're right," Phil agreed and hurried out of the arena. Not long after that, he was at La Guardia, waiting for their helicopter. It came down in the darkness, random field agents came out. Clint and Natasha were last. Phil was about to walk to them when he realized what they were doing.
They were kissing.
Author: Ericadawn16
Prompt: The wonderful mash-up of Friends and Avengers
Character/Pairing(s): Clint/Jessica Drew, Jessica Drew/Vange Whedon, Tony/Pepper, Pepper/Natasha, Tony/Thor, Phil/Clint, Clint/Natasha, Clint/?, Natasha/?
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Slash, lots of slash, mild language
Spoilers: a few references here and there, nothing big
Summary: What if the Avengers were more like Friends? AU
Beta: BIG Thanks to
lavendergaia and valoscopeAuthor Notes: If you have any episodes or scenes in particular that you want to see, please comment with them and I'll see what I can do.
Season One
The One where Loki gets a Roommate
December 2013
"That probably could have gone better," Tony Stark remarked.
"You mean the part where she tried to kill him at the altar and we had to stop it?" Bruce asked, shaking his head.
"Or the part where your mechanic skills were outmatched by a small child?" Clint countered with a grin.
"First of all...Franklin Richards is no small child. He's more...a freak of nature. Now having your fiancé turn out to be a robot who then tries to kill you and everyone in the room...not good, but actually, I was thinking about hiring this deejay. It's been nothing but Mariah Carey for an hour now," Tony explained. Then, he took a large gulp of his drink.
"Now you know why Jessica and I eloped to Florida," Clint muttered.
"Happy," Tony spoke, "Happy had a nice wedding."
"That's because you had me plan most of it which Rebecca was not thrilled with and now Happy can't even work for me," Pepper complained.
"None of us really has any reason to talk," Steve spoke, casting a glare at Tony.
"True, how long did your marriage last again, Clint? A month? Two?" Tony asked. Pepper cleared her throat.
"Technically, the divorce hasn't been finalized yet," Clint answered.
"Where is Coulson? I haven't seen him here yet. I'm sure he needs a drink...or five," Tony spoke, "before Thor finishes it off."
"Leave him alone. Barton and I have known him the longest. He went somewhere private and we'll see him again when he's ready," Natasha said with a glare.
"Then, why's Archer Boy gone?" he asked and it was true that Clint was now missing from the table.
"Maybe because you're an ass," Natasha suggested.
***************************************************************
Clint supposed the Museum of Natural History was neutral ground. He waited for Jessica Drew to show up. When she did, he almost didn't recognize her. Usually, her hair was dyed black but today, she was wearing a wig and looser fitting clothes. He couldn't fathom why she would want to meet unless there was a snag with the divorce on her end.
"Jessica," he acknowledged with a nod. His first instinct was still to touch her, embrace her but that wasn't his place now. She had Vange for that.
"Barton," she said in a low voice.
"What's new?" he asked, trying for casual. She smiled and shook her head. Then, took his hand and took them to a less populated spot in a blind spot from the cameras. She undid the jacket to reveal a small bulge.
"Pregnant."
Clint reached out to steady himself on the edge of the exhibit. He felt like he'd been punched in the gut.
"What?"
"Our son," she elaborated and he tried to put words together in his head. He wasn't having much luck. Jessica laughed.
**************************************************************
Coulson didn't look up when he heard the door open. From the footsteps, he knew it was the owner of the apartment. He put one hand on his gun and the other on his taser.
"What are you doing here?" Loki asked with narrowed eyes. "Need I remind you what happened last time we met?"
"I had planned on being at my wedding reception, followed by a flight to an exotic locale. I had even given up my apartment in favor of her apartment. Now, that's gone and by our records, you haven't even been to this apartment in at least six weeks," Coulson explained.
"Don't you have a whole tower for this purpose?" Loki asked.
"And face Tony Stark with that look of pity I saw earlier? I'd rather take my chances with you."
Before Loki could think of a new retort, Coulson turned the volume on the television up. It wasn't his usual fare but he didn't feel like his usual self. He wasn't sure what to think. Loki seemed to study the television with inquisitive blue eyes.
"And mortals enjoy that?" he asked about the act that Coulson had previously only seen illustrated in the Kama Sutra.
"Apparently. I turned it on and there it was, assumed you were a fan," Coulson spoke.
"No," Loki said but didn't stop watching and after a few minutes, joined Coulson on the couch.
TWO HOURS LATER...
EIGHT HOURS LATER...
TWO DAYS LATER...
The door swung open with a sudden force. Coulson guessed who it was before craning his neck but it was still disappointing; five Avengers plus Pepper.
"I left my phone and car at the Tower so how did you find me?" Coulson asked.
"Text message," Tony answered and held up his phone. "'He's at my place. Come get him' and then there's a .gif of a kitten begging."
"But if you break the device, the kitten will not be freed because it's not real," Thor added. Coulson shot Loki a dirty look.
"I don't want to leave. I don't have to. I was authorized 14 days off for my honeymoon. This is how I'm spending it."
"At least turn off the porn," Pepper spoke with disdain.
"No," Coulson refused and crossed his arms, not caring that he sounded like a child. These people had already seen him at his absolute worst.
"What would be our incentive?" Loki asked.
"Pepper and I will make out," Natasha suggested.
"This is pleasing to me," Loki agreed and turned to Coulson.
"Does nothing for me," he said with a shrug. Natasha looked at Pepper who nodded.
"Fine, then Tony will make out with Thor," Natasha suggested.
"What?" Tony and Thor asked.
"No, absolutely not," Tony argued.
"Well, I suppose if you won't kiss Thor, I won't need to kiss Natasha," Pepper spoke. Tony seemed to reconsider his thoughts. "You're right; it's for the good of the team."
"Okay," Coulson agreed and turned around. Pepper and Natasha went first. It was a full-on lip lock where they held onto one another and just when it looked like Tony's trousers were going to tear, they broke away.
"Your turn," Pepper spoke and patted Tony on the shoulder.
"Right," Tony said, unsure. He walked closer to Thor and Loki chuckled. Thor bent down to meet Tony's lips and it was an awkward kiss. Both men seemed unsure how much effort to put into it or where lips should go. Just as they started to find a rhythm, Coulson hit the Power button on the remote and the two men pulled apart.
"I want to leave now," Pepper said and dragged Tony away. He winked at the rest of them. The other four began to follow after them.
"But I'm not coming with you," Coulson spoke.
"Son of Coul, my brother-" he started and gave Loki a sad look. "He's not to be trusted."
"And you don't think I'm well aware of that?" Coulson asked although he was touched that Thor was still affected all these months later. "I like it here for now."
"I don't have a say in this?" Loki asked.
"Not really. I have a variety of weapons at my disposal other than the Avengers. For example, the IRS. Ever heard of an audit? It's not pretty. On the other hand, if you were to let me stay with you, we might be able to be a tiny bit more lenient about your surveillance," Coulson spoke, not mentioning how Nick Fury lived just below the penthouse anyway. "I'll also pay my fair share."
Everyone looked at Loki.
"Fine, but this is temporary, I assure you," Loki agreed.
The One with the Birth
May 29, 2014
Even though it had been five months since she'd told him, sometimes, it was still hard to believe that Clint Barton was going to be a father. However, here he was in Jessica's hospital room with her girlfriend. He hated feeling like the third wheel when it was his son, too.
"Come on, you can do this," Vange spoke in a soft voice and stroked Jessica's arm. "For Jordy."
"Jordy? Who's Jordy?"
"Our son," Jessica answered before gritting her way through another contraction.
"No, I thought we agreed on Jamie," Clint complained.
"Well, Jamie was the name of Vange's first girlfriend, so we went back to Jordy," Jessica explained.
"Jordy Barton? Jordy Drew? It doesn't sound right," Clint complained.
"Actually, we were thinking of Jordy Drew-Whedon," Vange explained, "Her name and my last name, simpler."
"So have you planned his whole future without me then?" Clint asked, not hiding his annoyance.
"We can't help it if you're never around," Vange spoke.
"Stop it, both of you! I want you out!" Jessica spoke, "Both of you."
Clint and Vange were both about to complain when Hank gave them both a glare.
"Jessica wants some space for now. You have time," he said, leading them to the door. "Get over yourselves before you come back."
"This is your fault," Clint complained.
"My fault?" Vange asked. "You're the one threatened by me."
"Threatened by you? Of course, I'm threatened by you. I thought my marriage was fine until you came along. You were there through all of the pregnancy. She didn't even tell me until the second trimester and you're right, I am gone a lot so you'll have him most of the time and now he'll even have your name. He's my son and it feels almost like you're taking him from me."
Clint couldn't remember the last time he had said that much at one time.
"Are you trying to anger me? Because you won't like it," Vange spat.
"I've always wanted to see a dragon in real life. Now do you stay your size or is it like when Bruce does it?" Clint asked and she fumed. He was so preoccupied with arguing with her that he hadn't heard the loud footsteps until it was too late. Ben Grimm had picked both of them up, taking them to an empty room.
"This is supposed to be a school! Children are trying to study and you're yelling for everyone to hear! Stop it," Ben chastised. He went to leave but broke the door knob. "Oops."
"Oops?" Clint and Vange asked at the same time. "No!"
"We're locked in here while she's having my baby?" Vange asked.
"Our baby," Clint corrected and realized he said "our". His light brown eyes met her blue ones.
"This is great," Ben spoke.
"Great?" Vange asked.
"This baby is so loved that you're fighting over who can love it more especially for being a mutant baby. Think of all the kids Charles has taken in that their parents kicked out. Life's no picnic for me either, but he has three parents already that love him so much but don't mind me, continue fighting," Ben spoke.
Clint was starting to feel very foolish and he thought Vange might be feeling the same way.
**********************************************************
"Where are they?" Jessica complained to Hank. He carefully sent off a couple of text messages.
"What if they don't make it?" she asked in hysterics and touching her belly.
"They will be here. Give me one moment," he said with a smile and opened the door. He looked in the hall and spotted someone to help.
"Jean!" he called out and she came closer. "We appear to have lost our lawyer and an Avenger in the mansion. Jessica's quite anxious so could you find them?"
"Of course," Jean agreed.
******************************************************************
"Baby Coming NOW!" Clint read off his phone as Vange looked at her phone, too. If their stupid fight caused them to miss the birth, he'd never forgive himself.
"Ben, I know it's Charles' place and all, but couldn't you break the door? Make a hole? Something?" Clint asked.
"I second that," Vange agreed.
"Fine, clobbering time," he agreed and backed up to run for the door. Just as he readied himself, it opened to reveal Jean Grey.
"Ah, here you are," she said with a smile and they ran out.
Twenty minutes later, Jessica clutched the new baby with Clint and Vange at her side. Clint was speechless as his son briefly grasped his finger.
"He still needs a name," Jessica whispered.
"How about Ben?" Clint suggested and looked at Vange who smiled.
"I like it," Jessica agreed. Then, there was a knock at the door. Hank peeked in and asked, "There's a couple of visitors. You want me to send them or tell them to leave?"
"It's Phil and Natasha, isn't it?" Jessica whispered.
"Probably," Clint agreed.
"It's okay," Jessica called out and Hank opened the door all the way for Phil and Natasha to walk in. Clint couldn't remember ever seeing Natasha around babies. If someone bought one to SHIELD, she tended to avoid them at all costs. On the other hand, Phil loved babies.
"Aww, he looks a lot like you. So, what's the name?" Phil asked.
"Ben," Clint spoke and Phil nodded. Jessica held him out for Phil to take and he supported the head without being told.
"Now, make sure you take after your mommies. They don't cause me any grief or paperwork like your daddy does," Phil spoke and Jessica and Vange laughed. Clint shot him a look.
"Natasha, would you like to hold him?" Phil asked. Her expression was one of horror, like being told she had to redo forms. "Or not."
He gave him to Clint who forgot for a moment that anyone else was around as Ben yawned. Everything his son did was fascinating.
The One where Everyone Turns 50
July 8, 2014
"Where is Clint?" Bruce asked.
"He traded missions with me. I mentioned how I've never been to one of Phil's parties before so he suggested it," Steve explained, before plunking along on the guitar he'd bought down from his floor.
"I didn't know you played," Bruce spoke.
"Clint's been teaching me. You should hear him play piano. He's really swell," Steve said with a smile. Tony laughed at his word usage before turning it into a cough. Then, he caught sight of another party guest and made his way into the kitchen.
"No talking to Parker tonight, Stark. I mean it. I don't like your influence on him," Phil said without pausing in his duties. He was making up more party platters so they looked perfect.
"Who do you think I'm hiding from here?" Tony asked before opening a beer. "I make one suit for the kid and he thinks we're best bros or something."
"Tell me about it. Blake opened his big mouth about the party tonight right in front of him. Now, I have five teenagers at my 50th birthday party," Phil complained. Tony took a large gulp and narrowed his eyes.
"Are we having a moment?" he asked and Phil groaned. "So, 50...we should have bought the Over the Hill decorations."
"Less than nine years, Tony," Phil reminded him and Tony frowned. "Here, make yourself useful."
He stuck a platter into Tony's right hand and gestured to the door.
Pepper saw Tony relegated to snack duty and smiled. Then, she spied Natasha and hurried over to her.
"I'm not staying. Phil is texting me when it's time for presents. Otherwise, I'll be upstairs, studying," Natasha spoke, stealing a sandwich.
"I just have to talk to someone and I didn't want to bug Phil about it," Pepper spoke. Natasha nodded. "Come upstairs."
Pepper followed her into her bedroom which was neat and tidy and revealed nothing personal about the occupant.
"You've never been up here before," Natasha commented.
"Not since the rebuilding/remodeling," Pepper said, noticing Natasha turning papers over so Pepper couldn't read them.
"So, what is it?" Natasha asked.
"It's something that Tony doesn't know about," Pepper started.
"You're not pregnant, are you?" Natasha asked.
"No, no, oh God no. Can you even picture that? Tony couldn't handle that at all," Pepper said, shaking her head.
"Barton's made me hold the baby twice. I keep thinking that I'll drop it. I don't want to be the one to break his kid," Natasha complained.
"I think it's something you have to practice at with experience," Pepper spoke.
"Really?" Natasha asked.
"I don't know. It's what they say," Pepper said with a shrug. "Clint doesn't seem too bad at it now though. No, my parents died a few years ago. I went through everything important, made arrangements but it wasn't until now that I went through the rest of it and I found adoption papers...for me."
"No idea?" Natasha asked.
"None. I was floored. I thought I was their kid. I still am. They raised me but..." Pepper paused before continuing, "I can't help wondering where I really came from."
"You know Stark Industries could easily do this?" Natasha asked.
"And then it would become a project and a thing and Tony wouldn't rest until I had met every third-cousin. I don't want that," Pepper explained and Natasha nodded.
"SHIELD has one of the largest DNA databases in the world. I could look for you without letting anyone else know," Natasha offered. It was what Pepper was hoping for.
"I'm not ready yet, but thank you," she said before Natasha's phone chirped.
"Present time," Natasha spoke without even checking it and they headed downstairs.
"Peter, I notice you and your friends are not having the beer. We must be festive. I will bring you some!" said Thor. Four of the five teenagers cheered before Maria Hill grabbed the man's arm.
"They aren't allowed to have beer," she told him.
"I don't understand. Is it an allergy? A special brew?" Thor asked.
"We have laws against teenagers drinking," Maria spoke.
"Laws? Nonsense, I started drinking as a child," Thor spoke and undid her grasp.
"Phil, time for presents!" Bruce screamed before there could be an incident. Phil was made to sit down on the couch and Natasha cringed as Tony produced a black birthday hat to wear. Phil mouthed something that was definitely a threat. The first few presents were the usual books and gift certificates. Then...
"Wrecking Ball! Thanks, Pepper, I hadn't picked this one up yet!" Phil yelled and she smiled.
"I can't wait for tomorrow," Pepper whispered to Natasha before Tony could be in earshot. However, Peter Parker got to them first. Natasha slipped away, closer to Steve.
"Pepper Potts! I've always wanted to meet you. Tony's right hand man, so to speak. Principal Coulson sure liked your gift," Peter spoke. "Did you two go out?"
Pepper was going to settle for an eye roll but she started laughing instead as though she would talk about her private life with a sophomore.
"What?" Peter asked.
"You're just...very, very young," she said and started laughing again before composing herself again. "Excuse me."
Tony took her hand but she was afraid that Peter would still follow them so steered them to sit beside Phil. He gave her a look as he took a gift bag off the floor.
"Barton," he read off the tag even though Pepper could see that it said Clint. He reached inside and pulled out a record that looked brand new, Frampton Comes Alive!
"Wow," he spoke and Pepper had only seen this speechless once before. She put a hand on Phil's knee, enjoying the expression on Peter's face.
"Uh...I can't believe he remembered. It was last summer, at least. I mentioned how my first concert had been one of the concerts recorded for this. I can't believe he remembered," Phil rambled.
"Those aren't cheap either," Tony pointed out. "It's a mint condition original."
"Can you really be that surprised? Remember when he fell in love with Drew and bought her that ridiculous crystal spider?" Blake asked and the whole room grew quiet.
"What?" Phil asked.
"Oh," Blake said and seemed to realize the entire room was looking between him and Phil. "You mean you didn't know?"
"What was I supposed to know?" Phil asked even though Pepper could tell the truth was dawning on him.
"Well, I mean...I thought you knew...you know everything and everyone else knew. Barton's been in love with you since you went through training together," Blake explained and Pepper winced. There were winces and groans throughout the room except for Peter asking, "Is Principal Coulson gay?"
"And everyone knew," Phil spoke, already knowing the answer. "Everyone but me?"
"Even Fury knew about it," Blake confirmed before being grabbed by Maria.
"Agent Blake, I think we should have a talk in the kitchen," Maria said as they disappeared from sight. Embarrassed junior agents began gathering up their coats and belongings to leave. Natasha hurried to Phil and Steve followed.
"I didn't know," Steve assured everyone. The girl in Peter's group turned to them and suggested they should leave.
"I...I think I want some air," Phil announced and walked towards patio doors. Natasha walked after him.
********************************************************************
Natasha shut the doors behind them.
"Phil," Natasha spoke and he turned around.
"Since training?" Phil asked.
"That's what they say. I hadn't joined yet," Natasha spoke.
"Well, of course you hadn't, that was TEN years ago and he never said anything," Phil stated, crossing his arms again.
"Clint never says anything, you know that," Natasha spoke. Phil walked over to the railing and grabbed it. "Do you love him?"
"Yes, I love both of you. The question is, Am I IN love with him?" Phil asked, "And that's a question I've never considered."
Phil rubbed his face with his hands.
"Why did it have to be now?"
"Because this is when he gave you the record and Blake couldn't keep his mouth shut?" Natasha suggested, trying to lighten the mood. It didn't work.
"That's true. If he didn't tell me himself, does it even count? Maybe I should just pretend none of it happened," Phil spoke, thinking aloud.
"Is that what you really want?" she asked. "I have to join him on the mission in six hours."
"I'm aware," Phil spat. He took a deep breath and let it go. "Don't say anything to him. If he doesn't want to act on it, I won't either."
She waited for a nod.
"Okay," she agreed.
************************************************************************
"Isn't Principal Coulson like way older than Hawkeye?" Peter was heard asking as the teenagers left. Tony rolled his eyes. Pepper laughed.
"Nine years apart really isn't that much," she commented. Tony shrugged.
"He's a fifteen year old. Everything is old to him," he said.
"Boy, Sitwell really did it this time, he would have been better off as a mime," Steve sang, strumming the guitar. Everyone looked at him. "No? Not a moment for singing?"
"After the wedding and all, I really hoped this would go better especially with turning fifty and everything," said Bruce.
"I loved turning fifty. We went on a drinking tour of all nine realms. Then, for Loki's birthday, we did the same but we interfered too much with mortals. Loki and I were never sure which of us fathered Harald so father banned us from Midgard for a millennium," Thor explained. Pepper couldn't help gasping.
"Harald Hardrada?" she asked and Thor nodded.
"And for those of us who weren't art history majors?" Tony asked. Sometimes, it was so frustrating to be surrounded by brilliant scientists who knew very little outside their field and hobbies.
"Double majored," Pepper corrected. "1015 AD was when Norway banned Viking Berserkers because the last two years had been especially bad..."
"We were such imps in our younger days," Thor said with a shrug.
"And it was the year that Harald Hardrada was born. Harald is considered one of the greatest kings of Norway and the last Viking king. King Harald 'distinguished himself above all other men by wisdom and resources of mind; whether he had to take a resolution suddenly for himself and others, or after long deliberation. He was, also, above all men, bold, brave, and lucky, until his dying day and bravery is half victory'. When he was young, the Byzantine Emperor employed him as a personal guard and when Harald died, he had invaded England. Even though he was killed, his invasion was so successful that Norway beat England a few weeks later which changed England forever," Pepper explained and everyone else in the room stared at Thor.
"What were his physical characteristics?" Bruce asked.
"Extremely tall, extremely muscled and blond," Pepper spoke.
"I think you can rule out Loki," Tony told them.
"If only we could all have that excitement when turning fifty," Bruce joked.
"But not too much excitement for you, Bruce," Tony remarked.
"I should have turned fifty back in 1972," Steve spoke and shook his head. "I can't even imagine it now."
"I liked turning a thousand. Father allowed us to travel to Midgard again but we were more mindful this time," Thor explained.
"Next to that, fifty doesn't seem so bad," Steve spoke and everyone laughed.
"Still, you can't help wondering what we'll be like then," Bruce said. "We might not even all still be around." Pepper frowned and others groaned. "Not just that, but moving, doing other projects. This wasn't supposed to be a lifetime gig."
They all drank and looked thoughtful.
December 18, 2019
"What about tonight? Any plans for tonight?" Bruce asked.
"No, it should be free and clear; a good night to catch up on Dancing with the Stars," Phil spoke, gathering up his papers to leave. He had no appointments or classes for the rest of the day.
"Oh...right," said Bruce and left as Peter walked in.
"Professor Coulson, is everything right with Professor Banner? He looked like somebody forgot his birthday," Peter said.
"No..." Phil started because Bruce's birthday wasn't until the 22nd. Then, he noticed the date on his watch.
Shit. Between the newlyweds and the prophecy and Peggy, they had forgotten Bruce's birthday. He was going to have to come up with something really good.
"Peter, whatever it is, you'll have to tell me on the way to the car," he said and started for the door.
January 7, 2023
Clint woke up early, like usual. His phone already held a dozen text messages for his birthday. He stopped in front of the mirror and studied his reflection. His hair had some grey here and there and he had to wear contacts now.
"I'm officially old," he whispered. He wasn't expecting to live this long especially with all those who didn't make it. After putting on a bathrobe, he walked outside to the balcony. Tourists were starting to fill the streets below him and he saw that the paparazzi with their telephoto lenses were already out in force. He knew they wanted they wanted the new girl in his life right now. A dirty thought crossed his mind but he could hear calling for him so he changed his mind. He shut and locked the balcony doors behind him before planning their breakfast in his head.
May 10, 2023
Tony went from room to room, looking. He found Steve instead.
"I have party guests all over Stark Tower. I have almost everything exactly how I planned it but I can't find the one person that actually means anything to me tonight. Where is Pepper?" he asked. Steve hesitated for a second.
"She had to go. She didn't want your party to be ruined so Coulson took her!" he shouted because Tony was already running by the second sentence.
November 22, 2034
Natasha pulled up the rear in the semi-darkness. Everyone else on the team was ahead. Her ankle was still hurting her from the stupid fall moments before. She didn't think of herself as old but it seemed her body had other ideas. Natasha was also being followed by a redheaded man with facial hair to match. He wasn't even trying for her not to see him. Three more guards appeared. She rolled despite her ankle and shot them in quick succession but something wasn't right.
"Look out!" called a male voice and she listened for the fourth one's location. It was too late as she felt the bullet hit her chest. She got another shot off and fell back. Someone was running to her and she became unconscious. Her last thought was that this time would be the end.
The next thing she was aware of was being kissed. If she wasn't so confused, it would have been better.
"What?" she started before taking in her surroundings, the dead guards and the man helping her to sit up. Then, she knew what had happened. "You didn't have to do that."
"Leave you to die? Yes, I know, but I didn't want to this time," he said. His blue eyes didn't quite meet her own.
"We have to stop meeting like this," Natasha joked.
"Think of it as a birthday present," he said. "Can you stand?"
"Yeah," she confirmed and held out a hand for him to help her up. "Nice disguise, I like the red."
She smiled as she studied her new shirt.
"Didn't fool you," he said.
"I know that kiss anywhere," Natasha said. "Now, are you going to help me stop your daughter from destroying the planet?"
"It was an idea," he spoke, "but come on."
July 4, 2040
Steve had thought a pool party might be more pleasant than the usual night-time affair and maybe everyone would leave before it became too late. He soon found out this was naive. Steve knew for a fact that he had not invited Loki but he and his brother were off to one side, arguing. Loki was more melancholy and angry lately than he had been in decades. He was almost worried for him.
Children ran everywhere. He couldn't even remember who belonged to whom. Some of them chased Cosmo.
Steve pulled out a beer from one of the ice chests, popped it open and walked to the kitchen. It wouldn't do any good but he liked having something in his hand.
"You don't look very happy for being the birthday boy," said a female voice. He almost jumped before chastising himself on not hearing her walk in. Elli Romanoff stood in the kitchen with a mixed drink. There was no point in reminding her that she wasn't 21 yet or even 18.
Steve shrugged and she came closer.
"And I can't get you drunk because that's impossible so you might as well talk now," said Elli. He shook his head but Elli was the persistent sort. "Or I have Thor throw you into the pool."
Steve tried not to smile.
"He'd have to catch me first," he said.
"And of course, that won't happen," she said in a whisper and a smile of her own. Like Natasha, Elli excelled at talking. He felt his defenses being lowered. "Come on, didn't get the present that you wanted? Wanted to be somewhere else?"
Steve cringed but she seemed to know the truth.
"Or is it someone who's not here?" she asked and her blue eyes were warm.
"Today, I turned fifty. Next year will be the hundredth anniversary of my becoming this and the very beginnings of SHIELD. I'm still here and so many are not and it's all the same. New people come in, we defeat the villains and new villains come along. People die and villains die and it never changes," Steve complained. "Look at Sylene. Every year, she has a new plan to mess things up."
"Don't be so hard on her. She had a hard childhood. With different circumstances, she could have been me and I could have been her. It's not easy being a child of Earth and Asgard and Jotunheim and she didn't have her dad around to help her," Elli spoke.
"No, no. We all have hard childhoods. We don't all become villains over it," Steve spoke, "and don't you dare compare yourself with her. I know you. I've fought with you. You're a good person, like your mom was."
Elli downed the rest of her drink.
"You're right. I have fought with you. I know this job. I may be young but I know what's at stake. I know the sacrifice this responsibility demands. It's not easy. It's not easy when they die in your arms and it's not easy when those you save start shooting at you because one man's villain is another man's hero but it has to be done," she said. "I miss them, too, but I'm not about to disgrace their memory by giving up and you shouldn't either." She was right. He was having a pity party.
"And what do you recommend?" he asked. She leaned up although her height was enough to tower over most men. With the short heels, they were about the same height.
"You should get laid," she whispered and he had to laugh. Then, with a smirk, she added, "I wasn't offering but how about Carol?"
"Ms. Marvel? I don't know," he said and shook his head.
"Come on, I'm not going to let you stay here and not try talking to her," Elli spoke and took his hand. They stepped outside and Cosmo bounded for them. Steve never trusted that dog. He was about to take a different path to avoid him when Elli touched the ground. Snow sprung up and the dog stopped, confused. Elli laughed and kept going.
"That's new," Steve commented.
"Just something from my dad," she said and before he could think about that, pulled him in another direction. "There she is, go."
He took a breath and approached the blonde woman.
July 9, 2014
Phil wheeled a piece of luggage with his presents into the main room. Loki was still up, reading. It looked like Hamlet. He was tempted to not acknowledge him. He hadn't invited him to either event. However, he had to know.
"When you possessed Barton, were you able to feel what he felt about me?" Phil asked. Loki looked up from his book.
"Why should I have bothered with mortal feelings when I had bigger plans?" he asked and Phil nodded. It made sense. He, Steve and Loki were their own oblivious group. Phil stifled the urge to sigh and continued to his room.
*******************************************************************
"So you left to find a better reason than the one we were living for
And it's not that nursery mouth that I came back for
It's not the way you're stretched out on the floor
'Cause I've broken all your windows and I've rammed through all your doors
And who am I to ask you to lick my sores?
And you should know that's true," sang Bruce Springsteen on the stage. It should have been the highlight of Phil's year so why was he so miserable?
"Uh, Phil..." Pepper started, speaking right in his ear so they could hear over the music.
"Yeah?" Phil asked.
"Tony might show up. Steve cracked and told him about it so Tony figured out that last night was for work and this was for friends," Pepper explained and he nodded. He knew Tony would find out eventually.
"Phil, are you okay?" she asked.
"Yeah," he said without thinking before admitting. "No. No, I'm not. I keep thinking like maybe I've done something colossally stupid."
Pepper took his hand.
"Go get him. Be there when he comes back."
Phil hesitated. He watched the figures on the stage, but it was impossible to really enjoy it; not like Steve who stood entranced to one side or Bruce with a huge smile on his face. Just yesterday, he was marveling over Steve Rogers at his own birthday party but now everything had changed. Was that why Clint had traded with Steve? Just so Steve could go?
"You're right," Phil agreed and hurried out of the arena. Not long after that, he was at La Guardia, waiting for their helicopter. It came down in the darkness, random field agents came out. Clint and Natasha were last. Phil was about to walk to them when he realized what they were doing.
They were kissing.
