Chapter Four: Six Weeks Later
May. 5th, 2010 12:07 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ericadawn16Title: Knocked Up!
Author: Ericadawn16
Prompt: Knocked Up
Character/Pairing(s): Jack/Ianto, Gwen/Rhys, Rhi/Johnny, Ianto/Lisa
Rating:R
Warnings: MPreg, sex, language
Spoilers:Character from COE
Word Count:68,599
Disclaimer for TW and the movie you are using:I own nothing.
Summary:Ianto gets a promotion at work, meets Jack and things are never the same...
Beta: BIG Thanks to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
madkatstar_pir8 pirate4evrnavy2 and surreal_44
Author's Notes: This story is very AU. Chapter Three: Day One
Chapter Four: Six Weeks Later
"What are his symptoms?" Martha asked and Gwen replied, "He's thrown up three times today, barely eaten a thing, looks a bit flushed and to be honest, keeps being right moody, more than usual."
He wanted to deck her, but the room seemed to sway a bit so he had to settle for words.
"No, that's impossible," he spat while using his fingers to illustrate his point, "First of all, you have to have sex to get pregnant."
He hadn't sex in forever. It'd been...oh, six weeks, but...
"And more importantly, second of all, you have to be a female and I am not!" he declared and stood up, almost knocking down the rubbish bin.
"Umm, Ianto, I don't have your medical file in front of me, but weren't you in the infirmary a month or two ago?" Martha asked in a strange way.
"Yes," he confirmed, "but what does that have to do with anything?"
"And did they give you an experimental drug that appeared to make you better rather quickly?" she asked and Gwen's scared expression mirrored what he felt.
"Yes," Ianto replied in a voice a little louder than a whisper.
"Gwen, I can't hear anything. What'd he say?" she asked and Gwen responded, "He said 'yes' and now he looks quite pale."
"Ianto, we've discontinued using that drug," Martha explained in a very calm voice, "because we discovered that it's used as a cure for infertility...in women."
"What?" he cried and shook his head.
"Well, there have been reports of side effects since we started using it," Martha explained, "Men growing extra parts and an eighty-four year old female who's pregnant with twins."
"Side effects," Ianto mumbled and tried to process what she just said. He'd been injected full of a female infertility cure and now...
"Oh shit," he uttered and bought his hands to his face. What was he going to do?
"Gwen, how is Ianto looking right now?" asked Martha's voice.
"How does he look right now? He looks like he just realized he's pregnant," said Gwen and hearing the word almost made him want to vomit again, "I think he should be taken home. Follow behind me caravan-style, yeah?"
"I would rather bring him in for a check-up, but I suppose that could wait for now. Meet me at the car park as soon as you can," Martha spoke and hung up.
"Come on," Gwen told him and offered her arm. He took it and shook his head again. It seemed like something that should be happening to someone else.
"How can you be so calm about this?" he asked her as they waited for the lift.
"It's Torchwood, luv. Anything can happen," Gwen said with a shrug, "I was pregnant myself once...with a Nostrovite. At least you know yours is human."
Ianto wasn't sure if that was a good thing to know or not.
"You have some time though; it'd be early days," Gwen continued, "Time to sort out what you want to do, whether you're going to tell the father."
The more Gwen talked, the more Ianto wanted to cry. Gwen drove him in his car and parked in his usual spot before they got out. She shut the door and gave him his keys, saying, "I could stay if you want."
The last thing he wanted was someone around him telling him how he should feel or what he should do when he didn't know it for himself. He shook his head and she hugged him. Then, he waved to Martha and trudged to the guesthouse. To think six weeks ago, it had seemed like a large yard when he and Jack were crossing it for a shag. Now, it seemed endless, like the length of a rugby field. Ughh, Jack, he'd have to be the father. There was no one else within that time frame except Mr. Naked Website Entrepreneur. Along the way, he saw one of David's footballs and kicked it. Was that his future? Having to get a proper house so the ankle-biter can leave things all over the lawn? What if this wasn't temporary? Would he have to have girlie bits the rest of his life? What if the rest of it stopped working? Maybe this was all a horrible misunderstanding. Yes, he had imagined the whole thing. It was the only logical explanation and it made a lot more sense than a man carrying a foetus. He unlocked his door and walked in with a lighter heart. Then, he was struck by the urge to piss even though he'd just gone an hour ago. It could just be a twenty-four hour bug. When he was done, he yawned and lay down on the couch.
He was heavily pregnant with his belly distended and naked, but no one was looking. Then, Gwen came up to him with a baby carriage full of things.
"Ianto, we have to go Ikea and get things for the baby!" she cried and jumped up and down with excitement.
"No, no, no, I don't want any of this!" he screamed and tried to waddle which turned into a run.
"Ianto! Gay boy! You forgot the baby. I'm not taking care of it," Johnny said and threw a baby at him. He caught it like a rugby ball and warm drool landed on his face.
"No, no, Ianto, you have to hold it up like this one," said Rhi with an identical looking baby. He ran in a different direction and the baby started screaming.
"Ianto, you need your check-up!" Martha yelled and came towards him, "You have to see if it's a boy or a girl!"
"No, go away, I don't want this!" he yelled and had to fake like he was going left to get around her.
"Hey Ianto, guess who I found? It's Ewan McGregor!" Jack called who was next to a naked man who did resemble Ewan McGregor, "He wants to have a threesome!"
"No, he can't, he's pregnant," said Gwen, suddenly appearing again.
"And needs me to look at him," Martha argued behind him.
"Is John around?" Rhi asked at his side and he turned around to escape them but Johnny was there.
"Ianto, we should play rugby!" he said and was throwing the second baby from earlier like a ball, up and down.
"No, no, no, leave me alone!!!" he cried as they advanced on him, getting closer and closer. They were smothering him with their bodies and questions and nagging and talking.
"No, no, no, this isn't happening! I'm not pregnant!" he yelled and was shocked awake.
"Ianto! Ianto, wake up! You were having a nightmare," said Rhi with concerned brown eyes. She was standing over him with a plate of food. Ianto took a deep breath and sat up. He realized he was sweating. Rhi stuck her hand on his forehead for a moment and then wiped it on her trousers.
"You look sick, but you don't have a fever," she said and still looked worried, "It sounded like a fever dream though. What's this about you not being pregnant?"
Ianto sighed and rubbed his face. He couldn't hide something like this from her no matter what happened.
"I think...I think I might be pregnant," he admitted in a soft voice.
"What? What are you talking about?" she asked in disbelief, "Ianto, you're a bloke, that's not possible."
"I know, I know," Ianto said, "But I don't tell you much about my work. I can't but...one of the things they deal in is making experimental drugs and technology...which they try out on employees."
Rhi set the plate down on the coffee table and paced for an eternity, but it was probably only a minute. Then, without warning, she punched him in the shoulder.
"How could you! Letting people inject you with weird things! No job is worth that," she said and he was surprised to see her eyes were glistening, "What if it was something bad and you died? How am I supposed to live without my brother?"
He'd never thought about it like that and he stood up to hug her.
"Oh, Rhi, I'm sorry," he said without making any promises to change. Torchwood's mission was too important to do anything else...that boy could have died if they hadn't been there. He felt tears coming down his own cheeks.
"But you weren't done, you were going to explain why you think you're preggars," she spoke as though he could forget, "although I haven't seen you cry in years."
"Six weeks ago, I was hurt at work," he started and she gasped, "Not serious, but they gave me a drug to take care of it...and since then, they sorted out that it's an excellent drug for women's infertility...totally cures it."
"Cures it?" Rhi repeated and shook her head, "I don't understand."
"The way I understand it, it either re-grows what you already have or..." he told her and reached the part that he was still uncomfortable with, "or grows all new parts."
"'All new parts'" she said and glanced at his crotch, "Does that make you a Tranny or something now?"
"No, it's still there. I like it there. I never would have purposely done this," Ianto spoke with more force than he meant, "From what I understand, I'm going to have both, like a seahorse sort of."
Hopefully, that's all it would be, just the uterus part. Rhi looked a bit overwhelmed and fanned herself with a hand. If she thought she was feeling over-whelmed, he felt so much worse, Ianto thought. His fingers traced a pattern on the couch without realising it. Rhi kept looking at his trousers as though his cock could disappear at any moment.
"I just wasn't sure...never thought you for gay either until you came out. Sometimes, it's like I don't know you at all," Rhi complained and crossed her arms. This was true. He had lied to her before, but he was being honest with her now.
"I didn't choose this, like I didn't choose being gay. It's just the way things are and...and yeah...fuck," he said at the thought of all of it: uterus and pregnant and...
"Sorry, it's just..." she started, sighed and looked down at her shoes, "Are you having symptoms or something then?"
"I've thrown up three times today, I've been dizzy and flushed and I just slept through dinner," Ianto listed on his fingers, "and my emotions are all over the place."
"If it weren't for the vomiting, I'd say you had PMT," she said with a smirk and he glared at her.
"Not funny," he spat because he might have girlie bits, but he did not want to think about that.
"Well, if you were a normal girl, I'd ask when your cycle last was, but that won't work here so there's only one thing to do," she said and he watched as she placed the plate in his fridge, "Time for a trip to the chemists."
"What?" he asked, "I'm a bloke."
"Not according to that story you just told me," Rhi spoke and motioned for him to come with her, "If it's based on the female body, you should be producing female hormones."
With a shudder, he realised she was right. He hated when she was right. Ianto threw on a coat and followed across the yard. She took out her mobile and started typing on it.
"What are you doing?" he questioned.
"Telling Johnny that we're going out and that he'll have to do the dishes," she explained before closing the device and sticking it in her pocket.
"We could have gone into the house and told him in person," Ianto pointed out and she shook her head.
"This was faster," she replied, "Did I meet him?"
"Who?" he asked with his hands in his pockets.
"Zac Efron.," she quipped. "Who do you think I mean, dumbo? The father of this possible baby."
Ianto wished he didn't have to be reminded of that.
"Yeah, when we went out to celebrate my promotion," Ianto told her, "He was my height but older, RAF coat."
Rhi furrowed her brow in concentration and asked, "Did he have that mate that fancied me? John?"
He was barely able to resist rolling his eyes. Of course, she'd remember that.
"That's the one," he confirmed and pulled up a picture of Jack on his mobile. She shrugged and commented, "Could have done worse."
Ianto let Rhi drive. He doubted he was in any condition to drive since he was too preoccupied with...whether he had a condition. Pregnant...the word was starting to lose all meaning. Men were not supposed to go through this. Ianto ran a hand through his hair and leaned against the headrest. He had to be positive. They'd buy some tests, take them back to the guesthouse and prove that Gwen and Martha must have been having some fun with him. Hopefully, that's all this was. In what seemed like a shorter time than usual, they arrived at Boots. He'd never had to do this before and Rhi said the layout had changed since her last time.
"I'll start at this end, you start there and we'll surely find some before the middle," Rhi suggested and gave him a little push. Right, think of it like a mission at work, he told himself. He hurried to the other end but the hairbrushes and hair colors couldn't be near the tests. Weren't the condoms normally near the pee tests? Now, that he thought of it; it was like they were trying to scare you into buying the condoms in the first place. Maybe he should look for those although they apparently didn't always work. Ninety-eight percent effective, he reminded himself so why he'd have to be the magical two percent? Unless it was Torchwood? Who was he kidding? It was always Torchwood or he wouldn't be in a chemist at night and searching for pregnancy tests.
"They're here! Here they are! Over here!" Rhi screamed and he cringed.
"Must you be so loud?" he asked before taking the basket from her.
"Oh, I'm sorry, is that not proper etiquette for when your brother thinks he's up the duff?" she retorted, "Try to relax. They'd assume it was for me."
This was true. He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. Those were a lot of tests and they came in different varieties. Why did there have to be so many? Which one should he get? It wasn't like there was one marked for when you thought you had an alien drug assisted pregnancy.
"Which one's good?" he asked with his hands on his hips like whenever he was upset. Ianto looked at Rhi and hoped she would be helpful since she'd been through this before.
"Well, this one is electronic so you can read the result better, this one has a Plus sign, this one has pink or blue, this one's the most inexpensive..." she prattled on and he felt the world start to spin faster around him beyond his control. He took one and then another. After a moment of hesitation, he started throwing one of each into the basket until it was full.
"You sure about this?" Rhi asked of what he supposed would be an excessive amount to most people.
"Possible pregnant bloke," he replied, "yep, I'm sure." She nodded and they rushed to the cashier.
Chapter Five: Confirmation
Author: Ericadawn16
Prompt: Knocked Up
Character/Pairing(s): Jack/Ianto, Gwen/Rhys, Rhi/Johnny, Ianto/Lisa
Rating:R
Warnings: MPreg, sex, language
Spoilers:Character from COE
Word Count:68,599
Disclaimer for TW and the movie you are using:I own nothing.
Summary:Ianto gets a promotion at work, meets Jack and things are never the same...
Beta: BIG Thanks to
madkatstar_pir8 pirate4evrnavy2 and surreal_44Author's Notes: This story is very AU. Chapter Three: Day One
Chapter Four: Six Weeks Later
"What are his symptoms?" Martha asked and Gwen replied, "He's thrown up three times today, barely eaten a thing, looks a bit flushed and to be honest, keeps being right moody, more than usual."
He wanted to deck her, but the room seemed to sway a bit so he had to settle for words.
"No, that's impossible," he spat while using his fingers to illustrate his point, "First of all, you have to have sex to get pregnant."
He hadn't sex in forever. It'd been...oh, six weeks, but...
"And more importantly, second of all, you have to be a female and I am not!" he declared and stood up, almost knocking down the rubbish bin.
"Umm, Ianto, I don't have your medical file in front of me, but weren't you in the infirmary a month or two ago?" Martha asked in a strange way.
"Yes," he confirmed, "but what does that have to do with anything?"
"And did they give you an experimental drug that appeared to make you better rather quickly?" she asked and Gwen's scared expression mirrored what he felt.
"Yes," Ianto replied in a voice a little louder than a whisper.
"Gwen, I can't hear anything. What'd he say?" she asked and Gwen responded, "He said 'yes' and now he looks quite pale."
"Ianto, we've discontinued using that drug," Martha explained in a very calm voice, "because we discovered that it's used as a cure for infertility...in women."
"What?" he cried and shook his head.
"Well, there have been reports of side effects since we started using it," Martha explained, "Men growing extra parts and an eighty-four year old female who's pregnant with twins."
"Side effects," Ianto mumbled and tried to process what she just said. He'd been injected full of a female infertility cure and now...
"Oh shit," he uttered and bought his hands to his face. What was he going to do?
"Gwen, how is Ianto looking right now?" asked Martha's voice.
"How does he look right now? He looks like he just realized he's pregnant," said Gwen and hearing the word almost made him want to vomit again, "I think he should be taken home. Follow behind me caravan-style, yeah?"
"I would rather bring him in for a check-up, but I suppose that could wait for now. Meet me at the car park as soon as you can," Martha spoke and hung up.
"Come on," Gwen told him and offered her arm. He took it and shook his head again. It seemed like something that should be happening to someone else.
"How can you be so calm about this?" he asked her as they waited for the lift.
"It's Torchwood, luv. Anything can happen," Gwen said with a shrug, "I was pregnant myself once...with a Nostrovite. At least you know yours is human."
Ianto wasn't sure if that was a good thing to know or not.
"You have some time though; it'd be early days," Gwen continued, "Time to sort out what you want to do, whether you're going to tell the father."
The more Gwen talked, the more Ianto wanted to cry. Gwen drove him in his car and parked in his usual spot before they got out. She shut the door and gave him his keys, saying, "I could stay if you want."
The last thing he wanted was someone around him telling him how he should feel or what he should do when he didn't know it for himself. He shook his head and she hugged him. Then, he waved to Martha and trudged to the guesthouse. To think six weeks ago, it had seemed like a large yard when he and Jack were crossing it for a shag. Now, it seemed endless, like the length of a rugby field. Ughh, Jack, he'd have to be the father. There was no one else within that time frame except Mr. Naked Website Entrepreneur. Along the way, he saw one of David's footballs and kicked it. Was that his future? Having to get a proper house so the ankle-biter can leave things all over the lawn? What if this wasn't temporary? Would he have to have girlie bits the rest of his life? What if the rest of it stopped working? Maybe this was all a horrible misunderstanding. Yes, he had imagined the whole thing. It was the only logical explanation and it made a lot more sense than a man carrying a foetus. He unlocked his door and walked in with a lighter heart. Then, he was struck by the urge to piss even though he'd just gone an hour ago. It could just be a twenty-four hour bug. When he was done, he yawned and lay down on the couch.
He was heavily pregnant with his belly distended and naked, but no one was looking. Then, Gwen came up to him with a baby carriage full of things.
"Ianto, we have to go Ikea and get things for the baby!" she cried and jumped up and down with excitement.
"No, no, no, I don't want any of this!" he screamed and tried to waddle which turned into a run.
"Ianto! Gay boy! You forgot the baby. I'm not taking care of it," Johnny said and threw a baby at him. He caught it like a rugby ball and warm drool landed on his face.
"No, no, Ianto, you have to hold it up like this one," said Rhi with an identical looking baby. He ran in a different direction and the baby started screaming.
"Ianto, you need your check-up!" Martha yelled and came towards him, "You have to see if it's a boy or a girl!"
"No, go away, I don't want this!" he yelled and had to fake like he was going left to get around her.
"Hey Ianto, guess who I found? It's Ewan McGregor!" Jack called who was next to a naked man who did resemble Ewan McGregor, "He wants to have a threesome!"
"No, he can't, he's pregnant," said Gwen, suddenly appearing again.
"And needs me to look at him," Martha argued behind him.
"Is John around?" Rhi asked at his side and he turned around to escape them but Johnny was there.
"Ianto, we should play rugby!" he said and was throwing the second baby from earlier like a ball, up and down.
"No, no, no, leave me alone!!!" he cried as they advanced on him, getting closer and closer. They were smothering him with their bodies and questions and nagging and talking.
"No, no, no, this isn't happening! I'm not pregnant!" he yelled and was shocked awake.
"Ianto! Ianto, wake up! You were having a nightmare," said Rhi with concerned brown eyes. She was standing over him with a plate of food. Ianto took a deep breath and sat up. He realized he was sweating. Rhi stuck her hand on his forehead for a moment and then wiped it on her trousers.
"You look sick, but you don't have a fever," she said and still looked worried, "It sounded like a fever dream though. What's this about you not being pregnant?"
Ianto sighed and rubbed his face. He couldn't hide something like this from her no matter what happened.
"I think...I think I might be pregnant," he admitted in a soft voice.
"What? What are you talking about?" she asked in disbelief, "Ianto, you're a bloke, that's not possible."
"I know, I know," Ianto said, "But I don't tell you much about my work. I can't but...one of the things they deal in is making experimental drugs and technology...which they try out on employees."
Rhi set the plate down on the coffee table and paced for an eternity, but it was probably only a minute. Then, without warning, she punched him in the shoulder.
"How could you! Letting people inject you with weird things! No job is worth that," she said and he was surprised to see her eyes were glistening, "What if it was something bad and you died? How am I supposed to live without my brother?"
He'd never thought about it like that and he stood up to hug her.
"Oh, Rhi, I'm sorry," he said without making any promises to change. Torchwood's mission was too important to do anything else...that boy could have died if they hadn't been there. He felt tears coming down his own cheeks.
"But you weren't done, you were going to explain why you think you're preggars," she spoke as though he could forget, "although I haven't seen you cry in years."
"Six weeks ago, I was hurt at work," he started and she gasped, "Not serious, but they gave me a drug to take care of it...and since then, they sorted out that it's an excellent drug for women's infertility...totally cures it."
"Cures it?" Rhi repeated and shook her head, "I don't understand."
"The way I understand it, it either re-grows what you already have or..." he told her and reached the part that he was still uncomfortable with, "or grows all new parts."
"'All new parts'" she said and glanced at his crotch, "Does that make you a Tranny or something now?"
"No, it's still there. I like it there. I never would have purposely done this," Ianto spoke with more force than he meant, "From what I understand, I'm going to have both, like a seahorse sort of."
Hopefully, that's all it would be, just the uterus part. Rhi looked a bit overwhelmed and fanned herself with a hand. If she thought she was feeling over-whelmed, he felt so much worse, Ianto thought. His fingers traced a pattern on the couch without realising it. Rhi kept looking at his trousers as though his cock could disappear at any moment.
"I just wasn't sure...never thought you for gay either until you came out. Sometimes, it's like I don't know you at all," Rhi complained and crossed her arms. This was true. He had lied to her before, but he was being honest with her now.
"I didn't choose this, like I didn't choose being gay. It's just the way things are and...and yeah...fuck," he said at the thought of all of it: uterus and pregnant and...
"Sorry, it's just..." she started, sighed and looked down at her shoes, "Are you having symptoms or something then?"
"I've thrown up three times today, I've been dizzy and flushed and I just slept through dinner," Ianto listed on his fingers, "and my emotions are all over the place."
"If it weren't for the vomiting, I'd say you had PMT," she said with a smirk and he glared at her.
"Not funny," he spat because he might have girlie bits, but he did not want to think about that.
"Well, if you were a normal girl, I'd ask when your cycle last was, but that won't work here so there's only one thing to do," she said and he watched as she placed the plate in his fridge, "Time for a trip to the chemists."
"What?" he asked, "I'm a bloke."
"Not according to that story you just told me," Rhi spoke and motioned for him to come with her, "If it's based on the female body, you should be producing female hormones."
With a shudder, he realised she was right. He hated when she was right. Ianto threw on a coat and followed across the yard. She took out her mobile and started typing on it.
"What are you doing?" he questioned.
"Telling Johnny that we're going out and that he'll have to do the dishes," she explained before closing the device and sticking it in her pocket.
"We could have gone into the house and told him in person," Ianto pointed out and she shook her head.
"This was faster," she replied, "Did I meet him?"
"Who?" he asked with his hands in his pockets.
"Zac Efron.," she quipped. "Who do you think I mean, dumbo? The father of this possible baby."
Ianto wished he didn't have to be reminded of that.
"Yeah, when we went out to celebrate my promotion," Ianto told her, "He was my height but older, RAF coat."
Rhi furrowed her brow in concentration and asked, "Did he have that mate that fancied me? John?"
He was barely able to resist rolling his eyes. Of course, she'd remember that.
"That's the one," he confirmed and pulled up a picture of Jack on his mobile. She shrugged and commented, "Could have done worse."
Ianto let Rhi drive. He doubted he was in any condition to drive since he was too preoccupied with...whether he had a condition. Pregnant...the word was starting to lose all meaning. Men were not supposed to go through this. Ianto ran a hand through his hair and leaned against the headrest. He had to be positive. They'd buy some tests, take them back to the guesthouse and prove that Gwen and Martha must have been having some fun with him. Hopefully, that's all this was. In what seemed like a shorter time than usual, they arrived at Boots. He'd never had to do this before and Rhi said the layout had changed since her last time.
"I'll start at this end, you start there and we'll surely find some before the middle," Rhi suggested and gave him a little push. Right, think of it like a mission at work, he told himself. He hurried to the other end but the hairbrushes and hair colors couldn't be near the tests. Weren't the condoms normally near the pee tests? Now, that he thought of it; it was like they were trying to scare you into buying the condoms in the first place. Maybe he should look for those although they apparently didn't always work. Ninety-eight percent effective, he reminded himself so why he'd have to be the magical two percent? Unless it was Torchwood? Who was he kidding? It was always Torchwood or he wouldn't be in a chemist at night and searching for pregnancy tests.
"They're here! Here they are! Over here!" Rhi screamed and he cringed.
"Must you be so loud?" he asked before taking the basket from her.
"Oh, I'm sorry, is that not proper etiquette for when your brother thinks he's up the duff?" she retorted, "Try to relax. They'd assume it was for me."
This was true. He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. Those were a lot of tests and they came in different varieties. Why did there have to be so many? Which one should he get? It wasn't like there was one marked for when you thought you had an alien drug assisted pregnancy.
"Which one's good?" he asked with his hands on his hips like whenever he was upset. Ianto looked at Rhi and hoped she would be helpful since she'd been through this before.
"Well, this one is electronic so you can read the result better, this one has a Plus sign, this one has pink or blue, this one's the most inexpensive..." she prattled on and he felt the world start to spin faster around him beyond his control. He took one and then another. After a moment of hesitation, he started throwing one of each into the basket until it was full.
"You sure about this?" Rhi asked of what he supposed would be an excessive amount to most people.
"Possible pregnant bloke," he replied, "yep, I'm sure." She nodded and they rushed to the cashier.
Chapter Five: Confirmation
