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ericadawn16Title: Knocked Up!
Author: Ericadawn16
Prompt: Knocked Up
Character/Pairing(s): Jack/Ianto, Gwen/Rhys, Rhi/Johnny, Ianto/Lisa
Rating:R
Warnings: MPreg, sex, language
Spoilers:Character from COE
Word Count:68,599
Disclaimer for TW and the movie you are using:I own nothing.
Summary:Ianto gets a promotion at work, meets Jack and things are never the same...
Beta: BIG Thanks to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
madkatstar_pir8 pirate4evrnavy2 and surreal_44
Author's Notes: This story is very AU. Chapter Eighteen: Twenty-eight Weeks Along Continues
Chapter Nineteen: Still Twenty-eight Weeks Along
When Ianto woke up, the room was dark and unfamiliar. He tried to move but there was something keeping him in place. His fingers felt for the obstacle and found elastic belts with electronic devices attached which made him remember. Still, the heartbeat was still steady on the monitor and he was still pregnant. Both were good signs. He felt a kick and rubbed the part of the belly not covered by the belts.
"I want to do better for you," he promised and sighed. Then, he heard movement. Martha was sleeping in a chair or was asleep. She blinked her eyes and saw him.
"You're awake, how are you feeling?" she asked before standing up.
"A lot better," he acknowledged with a nod.
"Do you mind if I turn the lights on?" she asked and he replied, "No."
He covered his eyes but it still burned when the room was flooded with light once more and he didn't see how Martha recovered so quickly.
"You didn't have to sleep here with me," he said, "You have someone to go home to."
"Tom understands, he's a doctor, too," she spoke and began measuring his blood pressure again, "You and your daughter are my patients and that comes first."
"128/90 and your contractions have stopped," she said with a smile, "This is much better, but I want your blood pressure lower. I'm driving you home and you're staying there until I clear it."
It was going to be okay. He found a grin growing on his face. There was only one thing he was a little concerned about.
"What about my car? I don't want it taken away or something," he told her, trying to gain some sort of control over the situation.
"Gwen and Rhys picked it up. It's at your place. I already called Rhi about what happened and that I want her to keep an eye on you when she can," Martha said and leaned towards him, "Ianto, I don't want you to forget how serious this is. You have Hypertension which means you have a very good chance of developing preeclampsia, eclampsia or premature labour: all of which could lead to your death or your daughter's."
Ianto shook his head at the horrible thoughts.
"I know you don't want that. I don't want that either. Since you never told her despite everyone telling you to, I'm going to tell Guppy to take you off active duty immediately," she spoke, "You also only have one more chance. Next time, I might not be able to stop the labour so if something happens and I can...you're going on bed rest for the rest of the pregnancy. I don't care if that ends up being next week and you end up on bed rest for nearly three months. I'm not planning on losing either of you."
Ianto had never realised how his life had been in just as much danger as his daughter. He was going to try harder.
************************************************
Jack and Johnny knocked on the front door. He didn't tend to carry around a house key and he'd rather not commit a break-in in front of Johnny.
"Since when do we lock this thing? Come on!" Jack yelled and kicked at it. Couldn't one thing in his life go right? Finally, the door opened to reveal John, Mickey and Andy with very red looking eyes although they grinned upon seeing Jack's bruised ones.
"I was going to ask if you wanted to come to New York with us," Jack told them.
"Yeah, doesn't look like we can go, sorry," John said with a frown.
"Holy shit, what happened?" Johnny asked and his mouth was gaped open.
"We got pink eye," Mickey explained.
"What? You giving each other butterfly kisses or something?" Johnny asked with a laugh and Jack glared at him.
"Very funny. That’s not how you get pink eye. You get it from poo particles making their way into your ocular cavities," John said as Mickey and Andy were nodding.
"Hey, Jack," Andy said and he nodded, "How’s it going? I farted on John’s pillow as a practical joke. He farted on Mickey’s, thinking it was mine and then eventually pink-eyes my pillow. I’m not proud of this. But, I think we’ve all forgiven each other. But, we can’t go anywhere and Owen didn't come home last night so I think he's trying to avoid all of it."
Johnny was listening with interest before he asked, "You can get pink eye from farting in a pillow?"
"Totally," Mickey agreed and Jack wondered whether Ianto had a point. Maybe it was time to move. First, he wanted to get on that plane with complimentary alcohol.
"That's awesome!" Johnny exclaimed.
"Yeah, but you got to be bare-assed," Mickey stipulated in a serious voice. Then, Tosh appeared behind them. Her eyes looked the worst.
"Shit. She got it bad! What, did someone take a dump right in your eye?" he asked and Andy put an arm around her.
"No, no pink eye for me. The experiment didn't have the results I intended," she explained, "I think I need to lower the amount of chloride."
"I think I'll just purchase whatever I need there," Jack said and started for the car.
"Are you Rhi's husband?" John asked behind him.
"Yeah," Johnny confirmed and the door was slammed shut. Jack was already in the driver's seat and Johnny opening up his passenger door when the door opened again. John was running towards them and Jack noticed his eyes were clear.
"I thought you had pink eye," Jack stated because John was up to something.
"Food coloring, mate. I had to do something or they wouldn't stop trying to give it to me. Fifty-second century genes would make that go on forever until they got tired of it. This was easier," he explained and jumped into the back, "but now, I'm going with you. I'm tired of this place."
This probably wasn't going to end well.
************************************************************
Ianto flipped the channel on the telly and landed in the middle of a news program about the ghosts appearing all over the world. It's what most of the shows had been about all day long. There were people convinced they were dating ghosts, dramas with ghosts as characters and inventors making gadgets that they were convinced could help a person see them better. Ianto doubted that. Even Torchwood didn't know what they really were and it was Yvonne's pet project. His front door opened and Rhi marched in.
"Get up," she said and motioned for him to do that. However, the couch was very comfy.
"What?" he asked and rubbed his belly that continued to be contraction free.
"We're not going to do this tonight," Rhi said and turned the telly off.
"What are you doing?" Ianto asked.
"We have to do something and have fun!" she exclaimed and if it weren't for the lack of smell, he'd swear she'd been drinking.
"I'm just so tired. Last night was hard and you know what Martha said, I have to relax," he reminded her.
"I know you have to relax and where do I find you? On the couch and watching news on the telly! News! When was the last time that someone relaxed when watching the news? We're going someplace with no news or reminders of the men who betrayed us. You could just sit on a chair and I'll make sure you have plenty of water or whatever you need while I dance," Rhi spoke, "I know you’re tired, but we’re going to be untired while still relaxing! We’re going to go live!"
He wasn't going to be able to stay in his nice, cozy guest-house tonight.
"Ugh, I hate you so much sometimes," Ianto complained.
"We're going to be positive," Rhi maintained and clapped.
"How many Red Bulls have you had?" Ianto asked while wishing he had never introduced her to such.
"I’ve had about three Red Bulls in the last fifteen minutes. And I feel fabulous!" Rhi spoke, "I have the kids down the street with the Johnsons. We’re going to create a new life and it’s going to be awesome! Let’s go!"
With a sigh, he traveled back to his bedroom with the plan of putting on the easiest outfit possible. If only dressing gowns were acceptable nightclub attire...
**************************************************************
Jack, Johnny and John were all packed in the back of a cab in New York City. They had no idea what they were going to do, but it was better than being home in London. He noticed that you couldn't see the stars because of all the lights. It was a small price to pay.
"This is fun!" he exclaimed and straightened his suit. He'd convinced the other two to wear one as well.
"This is great. We're going to have the best time ever!" Johnny agreed and raised his fists in the air.
"We're going to make a great team," John spoke and patted his breast pocket.
"Yep, it’s like I can’t come here with Rhi. She doesn’t understand. It’s like she wants to hold me in, and she was telling Ianto he could train you," Johnny said with disgust towards Jack.
"She thinks he could train me?" asked Jack and shook his head.
"Yeah, like you're dog jumping through hoops," Johnny confirmed.
"I bet Ianto didn't believe her. He wouldn't do that," Jack said shaking his head again, "I wouldn't blame him if he did though after all this if he even talks to me again."
"Right," Johnny uttered in a soft voice.
"I could have lost them. I could have lost both of them. She could have been born three months too early and it'd be all my fault," Jack whispered and rubbed his head. What if Ianto never trusted him again?
"And this is why I knew I'd have to come," John complained and reached into his suit coat, "You'd start feeling sorry for yourself and try to bring the party down. You're in fucking New York City! So I bought these."
Jack was pretty sure he recognized the items in plastic bag.
"Oh my God, are those mushrooms?" Johnny asked in excitement.
"Of sorts, got them from an acquaintance," he said and Jack had an idea what sort of acquaintance he meant.
"I'm eating them," Johnny announced and tapped his hands on his knees. If they were going to do this, he'd rather limit the damage.
"Oh, no, save it! I got tickets to Cirque du Soleil," Jack told them.
"You do?! No, you don't," John declared in disbelief.
"Yes, I do," Jack maintained.
"Holy shit!" Johnny spoke with a grin.
"But we have some time to spare if you two want to do something before..." Jack said and wondered what they'd come up with...
"We're in New York, there's only one other thing I'd want to do," John spoke, "lots of naked bodies."
"Just girls please, I'm not like you blokes," Johnny complained. A little while later, they were all in a private room getting lap dances from topless strippers. He was beginning to feel a bit better.
"I love New York," Jack uttered as she ran a hand up his shirt.
"This is the greatest place on earth," Johnny agreed as his stripper turned around with her back facing him.
"It's really amazing here," John said, "although there was this place in the thirty-third century...that was the best..."
Johnny's stripper pulled on his tie and fed it between her legs so her buttocks rubbed against his face.
"Now that's how you get pink eye," John joked as his stripper changed positions.
****************************************************
Ianto and Rhi strode past the crowd waiting to get into the nightclub and headed for the doorman. He let in two blondes, saying, "Hey, what's up, baby girl?"
They reached him and Rhi greeted, "Hi."
"Alright there? End of the queue, please," he said and motioned for them to leave.
"Really?" Rhi asked and straightened her clothes. The doorman looked over Rhi and Ianto.
"Yeah," he confirmed.
"Oh, come on," Rhi complained and Ianto had never seen her be rejected like this before.
"Look, we’re at capacity, okay? We’ll let some people in when it clears out a little. You’ll get right in if you go back to the end of the queue," the doorman said and gestured again to leave.
"We come here all the time. It’s not a big deal. It doesn’t really look that crowded in there," she argued and thrust her bust out.
"Oi, look, I don't make the rules," he insisted and crossed his arms.
"Please," Rhi begged.
"No," the doorman said before two girls that were barely legal approached. He lifted the rope for them saying, "Hey, what’s up, shorty? What’s up pretty girls? See y’all when y’all get out. Take care of yourself."
"What was that? What the fuck was that?" Rhi demanded and Ianto wished he could disappear.
"It is what it is, sweetie. Now can you step to the back, please?" the doorman asked but it wasn't a request.
"I think we should go," Ianto told her.
"You don't need to call me sweetie," she said as though never hearing him and her voice sounded like she was going to cry.
"Yeah, but maybe you should listen to your friend," the doorman suggested.
"No, you don't need to call me sweetie," Rhi spoke and her voice was now becoming angry.
"All right, you want to come in; you’re going to have to go to the end of the line and wait like everybody else."
"I’m not going to go to the end of the fucking line. Who the fuck are you? I have just as much of a right to be here as any of these little skanky biffas! What am I not skanky enough for you?! You want me to hike up my fucking skirt?! What the fuck is your problem?! I’m not going anywhere! You’re just some ‘roided out freak with a fucking clipboard and your stupid little fucking rope! You may have power now, but you’re not God. You’re a doorman! Okay? You’re a doorman! So...fuck you, you stupid fuck with your fucking little stupid gloves," Rhi yelled and Ianto was glad he was wearing a coat. He placed his hands in the pockets so he could caress his belly. Then, he took a deep breath and told himself not to get upset. The doorman grabbed Rhi's wrist and took her away from the entrance, saying, "Come here. Come on." Ianto followed them and hoped he wouldn't have to stop something.
"I know. You’re right. I’m so sorry. I fucking hate this job. I don’t want to be the one to pass judgment and decide who gets in. This shit makes me sick to my stomach. I get the runs from the stress. It’s not because you’re not fit. I would love to tap that ass. I would tear that ass up. I can’t let you in because you’re old as fuck...for this club, not, you know, for the earth," the doorman whispered with a sympathetic expression.
"What?" Rhi asked and shook her head.
"You old. She or he is fat. Can’t have a bunch of old, fat biffas running around. That’s crazy. I’m only allowed to let in ten percent black people. He said that...ten percent and five percent for Indians. Those are the rules, I don't make them but I break them and I'm sacked," he explained and headed back to the entrance.
"Now I feel guilty, I'm sorry," Rhi apologized.
"Why do you even want to be in here anyway? You should be at a yoga class or something," he said and gestured towards Ianto, "and you would be cute if you just let your hair grow because right now, the tits with guy hair...not doing anything for me. Are you a bloke? A bird? Just pick one."
"Don't you talk about my brother that way!" Rhi screamed and was about to go after him. He could picture the incident that would follow. Ianto grabbed her wrist so he knew it hurt.
"Please don't. Let’s just go. He's not worth it," he said and let her go.
"But...what he said..."
"It doesn't matter. I just want to go home," Ianto spoke and after a moment, they began walking back.
**********************************************
All three men held large plastic glasses of alcohol that glowed in the black light around the pool at their hotel. It had been several minutes since he had even thought of Ianto.
"Have the mushrooms kicked in yet?" John asked before laughing. Johnny was chuckling, too. Then, John brought out the bag again.
"I still have enough for you," John said and waved the bag at Jack. He knew all the reasons that he should refuse a second time. Still, he wasn't on duty and he was tired of thinking.
"Fine," Jack agreed.
Chapter Twenty: The Party's Over
Author: Ericadawn16
Prompt: Knocked Up
Character/Pairing(s): Jack/Ianto, Gwen/Rhys, Rhi/Johnny, Ianto/Lisa
Rating:R
Warnings: MPreg, sex, language
Spoilers:Character from COE
Word Count:68,599
Disclaimer for TW and the movie you are using:I own nothing.
Summary:Ianto gets a promotion at work, meets Jack and things are never the same...
Beta: BIG Thanks to
madkatstar_pir8 pirate4evrnavy2 and surreal_44Author's Notes: This story is very AU. Chapter Eighteen: Twenty-eight Weeks Along Continues
Chapter Nineteen: Still Twenty-eight Weeks Along
When Ianto woke up, the room was dark and unfamiliar. He tried to move but there was something keeping him in place. His fingers felt for the obstacle and found elastic belts with electronic devices attached which made him remember. Still, the heartbeat was still steady on the monitor and he was still pregnant. Both were good signs. He felt a kick and rubbed the part of the belly not covered by the belts.
"I want to do better for you," he promised and sighed. Then, he heard movement. Martha was sleeping in a chair or was asleep. She blinked her eyes and saw him.
"You're awake, how are you feeling?" she asked before standing up.
"A lot better," he acknowledged with a nod.
"Do you mind if I turn the lights on?" she asked and he replied, "No."
He covered his eyes but it still burned when the room was flooded with light once more and he didn't see how Martha recovered so quickly.
"You didn't have to sleep here with me," he said, "You have someone to go home to."
"Tom understands, he's a doctor, too," she spoke and began measuring his blood pressure again, "You and your daughter are my patients and that comes first."
"128/90 and your contractions have stopped," she said with a smile, "This is much better, but I want your blood pressure lower. I'm driving you home and you're staying there until I clear it."
It was going to be okay. He found a grin growing on his face. There was only one thing he was a little concerned about.
"What about my car? I don't want it taken away or something," he told her, trying to gain some sort of control over the situation.
"Gwen and Rhys picked it up. It's at your place. I already called Rhi about what happened and that I want her to keep an eye on you when she can," Martha said and leaned towards him, "Ianto, I don't want you to forget how serious this is. You have Hypertension which means you have a very good chance of developing preeclampsia, eclampsia or premature labour: all of which could lead to your death or your daughter's."
Ianto shook his head at the horrible thoughts.
"I know you don't want that. I don't want that either. Since you never told her despite everyone telling you to, I'm going to tell Guppy to take you off active duty immediately," she spoke, "You also only have one more chance. Next time, I might not be able to stop the labour so if something happens and I can...you're going on bed rest for the rest of the pregnancy. I don't care if that ends up being next week and you end up on bed rest for nearly three months. I'm not planning on losing either of you."
Ianto had never realised how his life had been in just as much danger as his daughter. He was going to try harder.
************************************************
Jack and Johnny knocked on the front door. He didn't tend to carry around a house key and he'd rather not commit a break-in in front of Johnny.
"Since when do we lock this thing? Come on!" Jack yelled and kicked at it. Couldn't one thing in his life go right? Finally, the door opened to reveal John, Mickey and Andy with very red looking eyes although they grinned upon seeing Jack's bruised ones.
"I was going to ask if you wanted to come to New York with us," Jack told them.
"Yeah, doesn't look like we can go, sorry," John said with a frown.
"Holy shit, what happened?" Johnny asked and his mouth was gaped open.
"We got pink eye," Mickey explained.
"What? You giving each other butterfly kisses or something?" Johnny asked with a laugh and Jack glared at him.
"Very funny. That’s not how you get pink eye. You get it from poo particles making their way into your ocular cavities," John said as Mickey and Andy were nodding.
"Hey, Jack," Andy said and he nodded, "How’s it going? I farted on John’s pillow as a practical joke. He farted on Mickey’s, thinking it was mine and then eventually pink-eyes my pillow. I’m not proud of this. But, I think we’ve all forgiven each other. But, we can’t go anywhere and Owen didn't come home last night so I think he's trying to avoid all of it."
Johnny was listening with interest before he asked, "You can get pink eye from farting in a pillow?"
"Totally," Mickey agreed and Jack wondered whether Ianto had a point. Maybe it was time to move. First, he wanted to get on that plane with complimentary alcohol.
"That's awesome!" Johnny exclaimed.
"Yeah, but you got to be bare-assed," Mickey stipulated in a serious voice. Then, Tosh appeared behind them. Her eyes looked the worst.
"Shit. She got it bad! What, did someone take a dump right in your eye?" he asked and Andy put an arm around her.
"No, no pink eye for me. The experiment didn't have the results I intended," she explained, "I think I need to lower the amount of chloride."
"I think I'll just purchase whatever I need there," Jack said and started for the car.
"Are you Rhi's husband?" John asked behind him.
"Yeah," Johnny confirmed and the door was slammed shut. Jack was already in the driver's seat and Johnny opening up his passenger door when the door opened again. John was running towards them and Jack noticed his eyes were clear.
"I thought you had pink eye," Jack stated because John was up to something.
"Food coloring, mate. I had to do something or they wouldn't stop trying to give it to me. Fifty-second century genes would make that go on forever until they got tired of it. This was easier," he explained and jumped into the back, "but now, I'm going with you. I'm tired of this place."
This probably wasn't going to end well.
************************************************************
Ianto flipped the channel on the telly and landed in the middle of a news program about the ghosts appearing all over the world. It's what most of the shows had been about all day long. There were people convinced they were dating ghosts, dramas with ghosts as characters and inventors making gadgets that they were convinced could help a person see them better. Ianto doubted that. Even Torchwood didn't know what they really were and it was Yvonne's pet project. His front door opened and Rhi marched in.
"Get up," she said and motioned for him to do that. However, the couch was very comfy.
"What?" he asked and rubbed his belly that continued to be contraction free.
"We're not going to do this tonight," Rhi said and turned the telly off.
"What are you doing?" Ianto asked.
"We have to do something and have fun!" she exclaimed and if it weren't for the lack of smell, he'd swear she'd been drinking.
"I'm just so tired. Last night was hard and you know what Martha said, I have to relax," he reminded her.
"I know you have to relax and where do I find you? On the couch and watching news on the telly! News! When was the last time that someone relaxed when watching the news? We're going someplace with no news or reminders of the men who betrayed us. You could just sit on a chair and I'll make sure you have plenty of water or whatever you need while I dance," Rhi spoke, "I know you’re tired, but we’re going to be untired while still relaxing! We’re going to go live!"
He wasn't going to be able to stay in his nice, cozy guest-house tonight.
"Ugh, I hate you so much sometimes," Ianto complained.
"We're going to be positive," Rhi maintained and clapped.
"How many Red Bulls have you had?" Ianto asked while wishing he had never introduced her to such.
"I’ve had about three Red Bulls in the last fifteen minutes. And I feel fabulous!" Rhi spoke, "I have the kids down the street with the Johnsons. We’re going to create a new life and it’s going to be awesome! Let’s go!"
With a sigh, he traveled back to his bedroom with the plan of putting on the easiest outfit possible. If only dressing gowns were acceptable nightclub attire...
**************************************************************
Jack, Johnny and John were all packed in the back of a cab in New York City. They had no idea what they were going to do, but it was better than being home in London. He noticed that you couldn't see the stars because of all the lights. It was a small price to pay.
"This is fun!" he exclaimed and straightened his suit. He'd convinced the other two to wear one as well.
"This is great. We're going to have the best time ever!" Johnny agreed and raised his fists in the air.
"We're going to make a great team," John spoke and patted his breast pocket.
"Yep, it’s like I can’t come here with Rhi. She doesn’t understand. It’s like she wants to hold me in, and she was telling Ianto he could train you," Johnny said with disgust towards Jack.
"She thinks he could train me?" asked Jack and shook his head.
"Yeah, like you're dog jumping through hoops," Johnny confirmed.
"I bet Ianto didn't believe her. He wouldn't do that," Jack said shaking his head again, "I wouldn't blame him if he did though after all this if he even talks to me again."
"Right," Johnny uttered in a soft voice.
"I could have lost them. I could have lost both of them. She could have been born three months too early and it'd be all my fault," Jack whispered and rubbed his head. What if Ianto never trusted him again?
"And this is why I knew I'd have to come," John complained and reached into his suit coat, "You'd start feeling sorry for yourself and try to bring the party down. You're in fucking New York City! So I bought these."
Jack was pretty sure he recognized the items in plastic bag.
"Oh my God, are those mushrooms?" Johnny asked in excitement.
"Of sorts, got them from an acquaintance," he said and Jack had an idea what sort of acquaintance he meant.
"I'm eating them," Johnny announced and tapped his hands on his knees. If they were going to do this, he'd rather limit the damage.
"Oh, no, save it! I got tickets to Cirque du Soleil," Jack told them.
"You do?! No, you don't," John declared in disbelief.
"Yes, I do," Jack maintained.
"Holy shit!" Johnny spoke with a grin.
"But we have some time to spare if you two want to do something before..." Jack said and wondered what they'd come up with...
"We're in New York, there's only one other thing I'd want to do," John spoke, "lots of naked bodies."
"Just girls please, I'm not like you blokes," Johnny complained. A little while later, they were all in a private room getting lap dances from topless strippers. He was beginning to feel a bit better.
"I love New York," Jack uttered as she ran a hand up his shirt.
"This is the greatest place on earth," Johnny agreed as his stripper turned around with her back facing him.
"It's really amazing here," John said, "although there was this place in the thirty-third century...that was the best..."
Johnny's stripper pulled on his tie and fed it between her legs so her buttocks rubbed against his face.
"Now that's how you get pink eye," John joked as his stripper changed positions.
****************************************************
Ianto and Rhi strode past the crowd waiting to get into the nightclub and headed for the doorman. He let in two blondes, saying, "Hey, what's up, baby girl?"
They reached him and Rhi greeted, "Hi."
"Alright there? End of the queue, please," he said and motioned for them to leave.
"Really?" Rhi asked and straightened her clothes. The doorman looked over Rhi and Ianto.
"Yeah," he confirmed.
"Oh, come on," Rhi complained and Ianto had never seen her be rejected like this before.
"Look, we’re at capacity, okay? We’ll let some people in when it clears out a little. You’ll get right in if you go back to the end of the queue," the doorman said and gestured again to leave.
"We come here all the time. It’s not a big deal. It doesn’t really look that crowded in there," she argued and thrust her bust out.
"Oi, look, I don't make the rules," he insisted and crossed his arms.
"Please," Rhi begged.
"No," the doorman said before two girls that were barely legal approached. He lifted the rope for them saying, "Hey, what’s up, shorty? What’s up pretty girls? See y’all when y’all get out. Take care of yourself."
"What was that? What the fuck was that?" Rhi demanded and Ianto wished he could disappear.
"It is what it is, sweetie. Now can you step to the back, please?" the doorman asked but it wasn't a request.
"I think we should go," Ianto told her.
"You don't need to call me sweetie," she said as though never hearing him and her voice sounded like she was going to cry.
"Yeah, but maybe you should listen to your friend," the doorman suggested.
"No, you don't need to call me sweetie," Rhi spoke and her voice was now becoming angry.
"All right, you want to come in; you’re going to have to go to the end of the line and wait like everybody else."
"I’m not going to go to the end of the fucking line. Who the fuck are you? I have just as much of a right to be here as any of these little skanky biffas! What am I not skanky enough for you?! You want me to hike up my fucking skirt?! What the fuck is your problem?! I’m not going anywhere! You’re just some ‘roided out freak with a fucking clipboard and your stupid little fucking rope! You may have power now, but you’re not God. You’re a doorman! Okay? You’re a doorman! So...fuck you, you stupid fuck with your fucking little stupid gloves," Rhi yelled and Ianto was glad he was wearing a coat. He placed his hands in the pockets so he could caress his belly. Then, he took a deep breath and told himself not to get upset. The doorman grabbed Rhi's wrist and took her away from the entrance, saying, "Come here. Come on." Ianto followed them and hoped he wouldn't have to stop something.
"I know. You’re right. I’m so sorry. I fucking hate this job. I don’t want to be the one to pass judgment and decide who gets in. This shit makes me sick to my stomach. I get the runs from the stress. It’s not because you’re not fit. I would love to tap that ass. I would tear that ass up. I can’t let you in because you’re old as fuck...for this club, not, you know, for the earth," the doorman whispered with a sympathetic expression.
"What?" Rhi asked and shook her head.
"You old. She or he is fat. Can’t have a bunch of old, fat biffas running around. That’s crazy. I’m only allowed to let in ten percent black people. He said that...ten percent and five percent for Indians. Those are the rules, I don't make them but I break them and I'm sacked," he explained and headed back to the entrance.
"Now I feel guilty, I'm sorry," Rhi apologized.
"Why do you even want to be in here anyway? You should be at a yoga class or something," he said and gestured towards Ianto, "and you would be cute if you just let your hair grow because right now, the tits with guy hair...not doing anything for me. Are you a bloke? A bird? Just pick one."
"Don't you talk about my brother that way!" Rhi screamed and was about to go after him. He could picture the incident that would follow. Ianto grabbed her wrist so he knew it hurt.
"Please don't. Let’s just go. He's not worth it," he said and let her go.
"But...what he said..."
"It doesn't matter. I just want to go home," Ianto spoke and after a moment, they began walking back.
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All three men held large plastic glasses of alcohol that glowed in the black light around the pool at their hotel. It had been several minutes since he had even thought of Ianto.
"Have the mushrooms kicked in yet?" John asked before laughing. Johnny was chuckling, too. Then, John brought out the bag again.
"I still have enough for you," John said and waved the bag at Jack. He knew all the reasons that he should refuse a second time. Still, he wasn't on duty and he was tired of thinking.
"Fine," Jack agreed.
Chapter Twenty: The Party's Over
