30 Rock

[ericadawn16]

Has anyone seen the 30 Rock episode Khonani?

Jonathan: I'm sorry, sir. There's a minor janitor problem. I apologize for letting a Kashmiri into your office.
Khonani: I just need five minutes of your time, Mr. Donaghy.
Jonathan: Five minutes?! Popes and princes count their Donaghy time in seconds!
Jack: Now, would be a good time actually to handle the janitor situation.
Jonathan: But sir, what about...
Jack: I always say that bosses should be deeply involved with their subordinates.
Jonathan: Does this mean you're you're coming to my cabaret?
Jack: Jonathan, close the door! (gestures to seat) Please, so what can I do for you?
Khonani: It's been a week and I've heard nothing from you, sir. Have you forgotten about our agreement? About me taking over 11:30?
Jack: I'm sorry, what?
Khonani: Five years ago, I threatened to quit unless you got me out of the late night shift.
Jack: Wow, other than some notable recent exceptions, NBC never guarantees employment terms five years in advance.
Khonani: I have a contract.
Jack: That is my signature.
Khonani: You signed it on April 22, 2005.
Jack: Okay, in my defense, every April 22nd, I honor Richard Nixon's death by getting drunk and making some unpopular decisions.
Khonani: But I want the earlier shift, it's better pay and more prestigious. Ever since I'm a little boy, I'm dreaming of hosting the tonight shift.
Jack: Okay, calm down, uh...Khonani, I understand that I made you a promise and I'm going to keep it, because this is NBC...the Biggest Loser network.
Khonani: So, you will fix this? Today?
Jack: Well, this is a janitor emergency and I really have no choice but to make it my number one priority.
Khonani: Good. Thank you.

(sometime later)

Jack: Lemon, you know Subhas, the current first shift janitor?
Liz: Uh, kind of.
Jack: According to the janitor community, you call him frequently regarding home toilet situation.
Liz: Oh, it's not that, we're dating.
Jack: Lemon, please. Look, I just need his phone number. I need Subhas to step down.
Liz: But Subhas does a great job.
Jack: Look, five years ago, I promised Khonani the earlier shift.
Liz: Why would you ever promise that?
Jack: Honestly, these immigrants have a tough life, no health care and I kind of just thought he'd die before it became a thing. Lemon, this is a janitor emergency. I need that phone number.
Liz: Okay, let me find it. Subhas...scrolling.
Jack: I know you know it by heart.
Liz: Okay, 917...
(Jack hangs up phone and turns to Khonani)
Jack: Alright Khonani, if I've learned anything from recent experience, it's that we have to handle this next step with Subhas very carefully.
Khonani: Oh, don't worry, Subhas will want to step down, spend more time with his hobbies. He collects classic car (coughs) board, classic cardboard.

Jack: Uh, Subhas, you've been with us a long tim and you've done great work here, but we need some new blood. It's time you stepped aside and Khonani will take over at 11:30.
Subhas: No, I'm in a union.
Khonani: But I have a contract.
Subhas: Meeting over.
Jack: No, no, hang on. There's always another option. What if we re-invent the way people think about their nightly trash removal?
Subhas: No, thank you.
Jack: What if the night shift just got a whole lot earlier? Gentlemen, there's a way for everybody to get what they want and for me to look like a genius and a hero.
Subhas: You're bull-crapping us.
Jack: No, I am not. I'm "innoventing", a word I've just innovented. NBC, it's fresh.

(later that day)

Jack: There he is! How's your first day going?
Khonani: I don't know. You tell me.
Jack: I don't know enough about being a janitor to understand what you're trying to tell me.
Khonani: There's no trash, Jack. Ever since you moved Subhas to ten o'clock, he takes all the trash. No trash left for Khonani.
Jack: Okay, well, there's a solution to this. What if you and Subhas share 11:30?
Khonani: No, I wouldn't do that to 11:30.
Jack: Well, what are you talking about?
Khonani: What are you talking about? There are two people who want the same thing, they can't both have it. You need to make a decision.
Jack: I can't, dammit. I can't. Don't you think I know what it's like to have two amazing people who both want the same thing? I do! I just want everyone to be happy.
Khonani: It doesn't work that way. One person's heart is going to be broken. You have to choose.
Jack: I'm sticking with Subhas, Khonani. I'm sorry.
Khonani: Okay, I know how hard that was for you and don't worry, I have a job at Fox (coughs) woods. Foxwoods Casino, my cousin is head janitor there.

Comments

[arathesane.livejournal.com]

Heh, by the time it aired I thought it sounded a bit stale, if it had aired during the whole shitstorm, it would have been awesome. But it didn't air until after the TBS deal was announced so it didn't make me laugh all that much. At least not as much as I probably would have had it been on earlier in the year. But I did like that they used Subhas as he is something of a recurring character.

I mean, as a Conan fan I appreciated that they did it and all, it's just too bad that it couldn't have been aired soon after it was actually filmed.

[ericadawn16.livejournal.com]

Yeah, production values just don't allow for that.

[arathesane.livejournal.com]

Oh, I know. It's unfortunate for a show like 30 Rock and the way that it is written, it's a bit more spontaneous than many sitcoms. And NBC really stretched their comedy series out time-wise last season. I know it's always been like that(there's only so many eps that have to be stretched over the long traditional TV season) but NBC seemed to play with their Thursday night time-slots a lot. It was a little annoying, especially how they handled 30 Rock.