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Almost a decade ago, I started writing a melding of Friends and the MCU. I never finished, but I grew unhappy with how I added new MCU characters and valid points about why I had kept outdated character points from the comics.

Thus, after Endgame, I started to work on a new version free of all these problems.

The One with the Pilot

January 28, 2013

Rain pelted against the metal walls of the car. It set Jennifer Walters even more on edge. The agents were transporting she and Jerry to the safehouse after another day of trial. Rain pelted harder. Then. It wasn’t rain, but bullets. Her chest burned. She looked down to see blood blossoming from it. As soon as the realization hit, her thoughts died away.

********************************************************************

Loki was wrapped in Thor’s arms on a world long forsaken by anyone with sense. He had crafted the perfect illusion of death. Tears fell upon his skin like rain. Thor was sincere in his promises to remember him. Despite everything, there was still love in his tone. Loki fought not to smile.

*********************************************************************

Bruce rubbed his face again. Of course, he felt bad about falling asleep but-

“I’m not that kind of doctor. I’m not a therapist. “It’s not my training,” he tried to explain. He wasn’t sure if it was an apology or just trying to make Tony understand. The other man was done in every sense of the word as they sat in his rented beach house.

“So?”

Tony had his usual sharp tone, but there was that neediness there, too. He needed someone and none of them could be that someone. The other man needed a professional.

“I don’t have the-“

“What? The time?” Tony asked. There was definite hurt this time. Of course, he wouldn’t understand. Always before, everything was a matter of time and/or money.

“Temperment,” Bruce finished with a sigh. Then, his phone went off. Tony sighed before waiting as if wondering what else could be so important. Bruce appreciated the distraction; not surprised at an unknown number. “Hello?”

“Bruce, I’m sorry to inform you, but you need to come to L.A,” said Fury on the other end. His tone was different than usual. He almost said he was already in Malibu before remembering not to agree to anything.

“Why?”

“Your cousin was gunned down. We think it was Wilson Fisk. She’s involved in a trial against him. Walters needs a blood transfusion-“

“Oh no, no, no, it’s L.A., you have plenty of blood to choose from,” Bruce argued. This was cruel to use his cousin against him just to get his blood.

“You would think, but none of the blood has been working. It turns out her blood has gamma radiation in it. She was visiting that summer, wasn’t she? At Los Alamos?”

Bruce didn’t like to think about his childhood, about anything dealing with his dad, but she was there, too. Neither of them deserved any of this. He sighed.

“Okay, where do I need to be?”

A minute later, he hung up. Tony’s brown eyes bore into him with concern.

“My cousin’s dying. She needs my blood. She’s in L.A.,” he explained. The other guy wanted to come out, but there was nothing he could do.

“I’ll order my chopper.”


“Okay, but then, Draculaura shows up with Clawdeen,” Frankie said, wielding both dolls.

“But Barbie was ready for her with her witch powers and tied them up with a magic rope,” Kate said, miming the action with the doll. They both sat on the floor in Frankie’s bedroom. Of course, it wasn’t as lavish as Kate Bishop’s bedroom, but she preferred the Leeds’ house. It always felt nice there and her parents never yelled at them for being too loud or being too rough on their toys.

“But Clawdeen used her magical amulet to call on Gnomeo to come save them-“

Frankie was interrupted by her bedroom door flung open.

“Have you heard of knocking?” the eight-year-old complained. She was nearly nine whereas Kate was only eight-and-a-half and looked younger.

Ned was mad. Then, he saw Gnomeo.

“Have you heard of asking permission to borrow things? That’s my Yoda, not yours,” he said, taking it from her.

“Fine, can I please borrow Yoda?”

“No, get your own Yoda,” he said and left the room. Frankie sighed.

“Boys,” she said with another sigh. Kate shook her head, agreeing.


Loki took a deep breath. His disguise was perfect. Even Odin wouldn’t suspect. Looking like a soldier, the king saw no need for other protection. They were alone in the throne room. His plan wouldn’t fail.


March 8, 2013

“You have to see this one!” Vange Whedon exclaimed, almost spilling her wine. Jessica Drew leaned over to see someone had drawn Thor as a frog and called it, THROG! She laughed so hard she almost snorted wine through her nose.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say Loki did it,” Jess joked which set them off again. Vange moved her laptop back so she could only see the screen.

“Oh, I don’t know if I should show you this one,” Vange spoke. This only made Jess more curious. “It’s Clint.”

“Gimme,” Jess said, collapsing down beside her on the couch. The meme had a nice angle of Clint with a caption saying, “Brings the ass to the party”.

She sat closer to Vange.

“It’s not like I could really argue with that. I’ve always enjoyed my husband’s ass,” she said, and Vange laughed. It felt good around her. She smelled nice and her blue eyes were amazing. Vange scooted closer as well. Their arms touched. Why was she even noticing that? It wasn’t as if-

Vange turned her head so her lips were inches from Jess and Jess found herself moving to bridge that gap. Then, her phone rang. Vange shot back. Jess reddened. She took the device from her purse. It was Bill, that could only mean one thing.

“Do we have a baby?” she asked.

“Not yet, but almost so get down here,” Bill Foster said on the other end.

“I’ll be there as soon as we can,” she said and hung up. “I have to go.”

Vange nodded. The space would be good. She loved Clint so why was she so eager to kiss Vange back?


Frigga waited for them to be alone. Then, she took Odin’s hand, rubbing her thumb over his wrist. It used to be one of their ways of saying how much they loved each other without words. Odin shrank out of it, just as he had flinched from all physical affection since Loki had died. This wasn’t mourning. It was something far worse.


Tigra had never seen a more beautiful infant. Her son was covered in downy soft fur. It was orange just her own body. However, the black stripes could barely be seen.

“He’s gorgeous,” Bill commented. She nodded. Then, a thought occurred to her.

“Would you like to hold him?” she asked. His brown eyes lit up and he took the infant from her.

“I thought I was only a sperm donor under the agreement.”

“I retain sole custody, yes, but we are friends and I hope we can keep it that way. If anything happens to me, you would be his guardian,” Tigra spoke.

His smile grew bigger, but he didn’t turn to look at her. His gaze was only on the new cub. He had called Jess so she would be on her way. She hoped she wouldn’t be asleep before that happened.


“Mother, you must be imagining things!” Thor complained in front of Heimdall. He had been pulled from one of Jane’s lectures here. It had been his assumption that it was important. Instead, she spoke absurdity.

“If I’m wrong, then something else is wrong with your father. This is your-“

“I renounced my claim to the throne. There is so much else I need to do. I’ve grown so much and yet I see a long path before me prior to ever being ready,” Thor spoke.

“You may not have a choice in that matter. Asgard demands a ruler of royal blood. I don’t meet that requirement,” she pointed out. He hated the truth in her words. “Would you have it fall to Baldir?”

Thor frowned. His younger brother was even less wise to the ways of ruling than he.

“Help your mother.”

Despite his flaws, Loki took after their mother in many ways, including their use of language. It was hard to believe they weren’t bound by blood. He couldn’t refuse her.

“I’ll come,” Thor agreed. She smiled. Heimdall nodded.


More screaming came from above her. Jazmine Sitwell stuck her head out of the nursey and yelled, “Bella! Ivy! Don’t wake up your brother!”

“Okay!” her girls screamed back. She shook her head before turning back. Darwin was still sound asleep. He was always a sound sleeper. The thought occurred to her that the sisters had never woken their brother up, no matter how loud they were.

“Darwin?” she asked. There was no response. She picked up a forgotten rattle, a little too young for the ten-month-old now. The innards shook and shook, crashing together. Darwin didn’t stir. His chest still rising and falling. Jazmine tried more toys. There were teddy bears with recorded messages and plastic blocks with silly sounds. She pressed the car that he loved best. It talked but also lit up. What if it was the lights that attracted him? Darwin still slept. Her heart sunk.


Loki didn’t like how Frigga and Thor approached him or how she insisted on the guards staying in the room.
“Mother feels you are not yourself,” Thor stated. Mjolnir was held in one hand.

“Does she now?” Loki asked. “None of us are the same after your brother’s death.”

“Of course-“

“And I thought your last conversation said you were done with Asgard, you had renounced the throne,” Loki argued.

“But not my parents, I care about both of you,” Thor spoke. His tone was like when he had held Loki in his arms. For a second, the façade slipped.

“Loki!”

He was tempted to flee, but the guards moved to the exits. Thor held up Mjolnir.

“Loki, tell us where father is!”

“He’s not my-“

“Tell us or I’ll throw my hammer at you!” Thor promised. Loki transformed back to his Asgardian self.

“I took him to New York.”

“You’ll take us there,” Frigga commanded. He could never refuse her.


“Oh, Teeg, he’s so perfect,” Jess spoke as he held William Grant Nelson. Tears came to her eyes.

“Oh no,” Tigra said. “Are you okay?”

Jess nodded, unable to form words.

“Come on, sit next to me,” Tigra spoke, scooting over and patting the bed beside her. Jess still held William. Finally, she found her voice again.

“I feel stupid. It was over two years ago. I should be over it. It was only a miscarriage, it wasn’t like-,” she stuttered. “It wasn’t like it was a real baby.”

Tigra wrapped her arms around her.

“That’s not true. We both know that’s not true. Tell me about him. How old would he be?”

Jess took a breath.

“He’d be twenty months. He’d have blond hair and green eyes, just like his parents. He’d be getting into everything. You, Phil and Tasha would be spoiling him rotten. Stark would insist on making him a little archer suit-“

“Tasha and I would make him a Spider-Woman suit,” Tigra interrupted. This time, she smiled, imagining it.

William began to cry, and she returned him to Tigra for feeding. Jess wished she could have this, but she wasn’t getting any younger and would Clint even want to try again? They had never discussed it. She knew he was just as hurt as she was.

“I want you to know something,” Tigra spoke as William suckled her nipple. “If both Bill and I die, like some supervillain or betrayal within SHIELD or something, I want you to raise him.”

“William?”

Tigra rolled her eyes.

“Thank you.”


Odin smiled.

“I thought you would be sooner.”

Loki glared. He was surrounded by Frigga and Thor. Odin supposed that spoke to how well Loki did his disguise. He was certain it was Frigga that saw through it. However, his magic was impaired.

“Give it back,” he ordered. Loki sighed and undid the restrictions. Odin went back to his normal robes, not caring what the Midgardians around them said. “What shall I do with you?”

“Throw me back in the dungeons? Kill me?”

Odin shook his head. He couldn’t kill Loki. Frigga’s reprieve from Valhalla depended on his continued existence. There had only been one successful punishment for his children.

“No, I have something better. There is only one thing to do for a spoiled child. You and Thor taught me that.”

Loki’s face paled, proving this was the right decision.

Odin called Gungnir to him.

“Loki, I strip you of all powers, money or help from us. I banish you.”

“Where?” Loki uttered.

“Here,” he answered. Loki’s distaste did bring a smirk to his lips. This would do him good.

****************************************************************************

Jennifer was still resting in the hospital. She had gotten Bruce to leave. He had stayed by her side almost the entire time as if she would suddenly explode or something. Others seemed to share his opinion. She was attached to the bed. There was gratitude over his act though. Otherwise, she would be dead. Then, she heard gunfire again. She seized as though it was just a memory.

Closer and closer the sounds came. It couldn’t have just been a memory. People screamed. Anger rushed through her. How dare they go after her again. How dare they hurt innocent people for their greed. Her restraints were ripped off. She glanced at her hands. They were green like Bruce’s ‘Other Guy’. She felt angry and powerful.

Jennifer jumped out of bed and left her room, crumpling the door in her wake.

“LEAVE THEM ALONE!” she screamed at the hitmen. This time, she felt nothing as the bullets hit her chest. She picked up one of the gunmen like a jar of pickles and threw him into the floor. The scared looks on the others pleased her.


Jasper opened the door to two girls throwing themselves at him. Bella was his oldest at fifteen and he was always surprised that she would still hug him so freely. Jivenia was almost nine. The youngest, Darwin, was still mastering crawling.

“Oh, my girls!” he cried and hugged them back. He’d been gone two weeks on a SHIELD mission. They’d never know that. Jazmine only let the children know that Jasper fought bad guys for the government.

“Darwin!” he exclaimed, but his son was distracted by Jazmine. She pointed and Darwin grinned, demanding that Jasper pick him up. Her brown eyes were sad.

“Girls, I bet his luggage is so heavy you can’t carry it upstairs!”

Bella rolled her eyes at Jazmine, but Ivy fell for it.

“Grown-up talk,” Jasper said, nodding at Jazmine. Bella stalked off, saying, “Fine, but no sex, no more babies.”

“What is it?” Jasper asked. He couldn’t remember Jazmine being so spooked.

“I think Darwin’s deaf.”

Jasper wanted to argue. However, there were the moments he assumed was his son being too distracted to notice his name. He couldn’t remember Darwin ever being scared by noises. His sisters had been close to saying words at his age, but he always heard boys were slower. It all made a horrible sense.

How had they not caught it before? He felt like a terrible father.

“What do we do?”

“We’ll make a doctor appointment and talk it over. They have to make a formal diagnosis, then the insurance will cover hearing aids, therapy, whatever we might need, whatever-“

Her words broke into crying. He wrapped both of them in a hug.

“We’re going to get through this,” Jasper promised.


Clint listened as Helen Cho explained their latest mission. They were in South Korea this time. Then, a baby cried.

“Excuse me,” she said with a smile.

“That’s not another experiment, is it?” he asked. Phil glared at him before explaining, “She has a five-month-old daughter.”

“There we go,” Dr. Cho continued, unable to point at the board and hold her daughter. “Here.”

Clint was unprepared when the girl was put into his arms. She no longer cried. He was no longer able to pay attention to the background on the mission. Nat or Phil would catch him up. The baby stared at him with wide brown eyes. He was reminded of what could have been and he hated that. She cooed. It was right after that when he felt warm liquid trickling down his clothes. She had peed on him.

*********************************************************************************

Jess knew this was a bad idea. She shouldn’t be doing this. There was a bed she should be using that still smelled like Clint even though he was on a mission.

Vange answered the door with a smile. Without another word, Jess kissed her. Vange kissed back. The door was shut behind them.


J’son of Spartax wasn’t lenient towards intruders especially those who wished them harm. He watched his guards march the man back to his ship. The insectoid followed behind him. When he reached the ship, he turned directly to J’son.

“You will rue this day. You can’t stop my plans. I will have my way,” he said. At that, he winked at J’son’s daughter, Ar’psis. She was barely a teenager. J’son signaled to fire, but it didn’t work and the two left on their ship. J’son clutched his daughter’s shoulder. No one would be allowed to touch her.

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